September 7th 2009

Happy Labor Day or as 10% of the country calls it: Monday….

Rep. Michele Bachmann said Democrats are sabotaging her because they don’t want her to become the first female president. And by sabotaging she means they are letting her talk.

Scientists predict the human brain can be replicated in 10 years, or 10 days if you’re trying with Jessica Simpson’s.

Japan wants to start paying parents $3,400 a year per child to boost Japan’s birth rate. And today Octomom started taking Japanese lessons.

Japan wants to start paying parents $3,400 a year per child until they reach high school to boost Japan’s birth rate. We can’t do the same in certain parts of the US, because the government would have to pay those kids for the rest of their lives.

Japan wants to start paying parents $3,400 a year per child to boost Japan’s birth rate. I’m just looking at my useless kids, and it would feel like the cash for clunkers program.

Psychologists have found that men with the highest IQ also have the healthiest sperm. As a matter of fact Stephen Hawking’s sperm is so strong; he has it pushing his wheelchair.

Levy Johnston says that Sarah and Todd Palin slept in separate rooms. So that Todd must have a tremendous aim to make 5 kids with her.

The Demolition-derby – driver association is complaining because they don’t have enough cars to destroy after Cash for Clunkers program got rid of most of them. They shouldn’t worry; those who bought GM might have their cars ready to be destroyed in a couple of months.

According to a research, peak usage of the Internet has changed from daylight hours, to 11. p.m. Well, now that most people don’t have jobs, they cannot surface for porn during work hours.

Republicans are mad because Obama is going to address nation’s classrooms next week.. Obama is willing to compromise and to please conservative parents he is going to take some time to read the kids “My Pet Goat.”

Republican parents across the country are afraid president Obama will try to indoctrinate their children when he address them on Tuesday. So following what Fox News told them, they are not going to send their kids to school.

Republican parents across the country might not send their kids to school on Tuesday because they are afraid when Obama addresses them he will try to indoctrinate them with anti-capitalistic ideas. Unfortunately due to capitalism those kids this missed school might flip the burgers for those who went that day.

During a Town Hall meeting, an Obama supporter bit the finger off an Obama opponent. That was a big mistake, how can you fight for a new Health Care system, if the one we have now gives you such a great dental plan.

During a baseball game in Toronto, A-Rod accidentally grabbed a female cop when he goes for the ball. Didn’t he have enough already with Sarah Palin’s daughter?

The U.S. and Cuba are starting talks about starting up direct mail. Cubans would love to get letters from family in the US, there’s nothing they love the most that fresh, new paper to wipe.

The U.S. and Cuba are starting talks about starting up direct mail. Sending a letter to Cuba is easy, but getting one back takes a long time usually deliver in an old car, rowed by the entire family, and the Cuban mailman doesn’t have to fight a dog, but a shark.