August 27th 2009

Michael Jackson had $668,000 in cash when he died. Or as he used to call it, shush change.

The nation’s top two brewers say they plan to raise the price of beer in the fall. Complaints started to rise from all over the country, mostly from ugly women that feel they won’t get much love.

Pete Townshend of The Who is writing a musical about getting old… and how much he hates when his dates do.

Personal use of marihuana is now legal In Argentina. This will definitely increase the chances of some American politicians, because only high you can think of starting an affair with them.

Britain's main farming union has issued a warning about the dangers of provoking cows after 4 people died trampled by them. Cows want everybody to believe they are mad again; the swine faked a flu and nobody is killing them anymore.

A British man has complained to candy maker Haribo about a candy wrapper that depicts a "male" lime having sex with a cartoon lemon. Apparently the man hates gay sex… two fruit doing it.

A British man has complained to candy maker Haribo about a candy wrapper that depicts a "male" lime having sex with a cartoon lemon. Those bloody limeys!

A Florida town received tax bills 10 times higher due to a decimal point error. Officials in Florida said the mistake will be corrected and they will only see that kind of increase after Obama passes his health care reform.

Hours after his sentencing Chris Brown was seen dancing at a club. Well, clubs are the only thing he can hit now…

A new study shows that extreme obesity can shorten a person's life by 12 years. Nature plays its role here; you have to die before it becomes impossible for you to fit in a coffin.

The U.S. Postal Service announced plans on Tuesday to fire thirty thousand postal workers. And you thought town hall meetings were violent before…

A rapist was arrested after one of his victims bit off his tongue. Police couldn’t help but laugh when they told him he had the right to remain silence.

According to a new study from Harvard University, there are approximately 27 million slaves worldwide. Finally some good news for Glen Beck!

An L.A. comedian is being sued by his mother-in-law. She laughed at it and said he didn’t care because if the case goes to trial, justice is blind not deaf, so they will get to hear how annoying his mother-in-law is.

An L.A. comedian is being sued by his mother-in-law. She won’t stop; she knows that if things turned bad and he loses Obama, who lives with his mother-in-la will give him a presidential pardon.