August 13th 2009

A man holding a sign that read “Death to Obama” was detained in Maryland….. Forcing Fox Network to immediately look for someone to fill in for Glen Beck.

Hillary Clinton compared the corruption in the Nigeria’s elections with what happened in 2000 in the US. The only difference is that in Nigeria they probably really hanged someone named Chad.

Scientists research showed that taking insults lying down is less likely to make you angry. That’s why I never tell my wife what I really think about her pants unless I’m lying down.

Jay Leno says he's lost 12 pounds over the past few months in preparation for his new show. He might lose a lot more because he is thinking of getting rid of John Melendez.

President Obama says that his policies helped the U.S. avoid an economic freefall. Yeah, it is not free anymore.

Man who organized Prop 8 to protect the "sanctity" of marriage is divorcing his wife of 43 years. So he didn’t hate gays, he was just warning them how awful marriage is….

Scientists research showed that taking insults lying down is less likely to make you angry, especially if you have your eyes closed and you’re snoring.

Scientists research showed that taking insults lying down is less likely to make you angry. Why do you think I don’t care when my wife tells me I’m bad in bed….

Stephen Hawking said “I wouldn't be here today if it were not for the NHS” responding to the critics of the British socialized medicine. So nationalized health care leaves you on a wheelchair? I pass…

According to scientists in Spain drinking beer regularly could stop bones from going brittle. This comes in handy because due to beer I usually end up with a fatty on top.

According to scientists in Spain drinking beer regularly could stop bones from going brittle. It is perfect, so I can drink and drive and don’t feel that scared because I have superbones…

A judge sentenced a guy to 6 months in jail for a "loud and boisterous" yawn. On his defense he had just watched Jimmy Fallon.

A judge sentenced a person for yawning. I knew my wife was onto something with her boring long conversations.


According to some research, people lie 3 times in a 10 minutes conversation. Why do you think politicians’ speeches are way longer than 10 minutes?

Members of Congress decided to cancel the purchase of new planes for the use of lawmakers, which is really bad because they were counting on those to hold town hall meetings as far as a possible.