August 11th 2009

Obama promised an immigration reform in the near future. It is genius, because right after he said that, millions of Republicans felt sick and needed health care.

Obama promised an immigration reform in the near future. You see? He wasn’t lying when he said there’s not going to be free health care for illegals, because he is going to legalize everybody.

According to a recent survey, 58% of Americans talk on their cell phone while driving even in states where it's illegal. The worst part is that the other 42% listen on the cell phone.

Cuba is about to run out of toilet paper. The good thing is they don’t need it… you don’t take dumps when you can’t afford to eat.

Cuba is about to run out of toilet paper. You see what they miss for not being a democracy? You can always wipe your ass with the constitution.

A woman became the first person in the United States to be implanted with a pacemaker that can be monitored over the internet. She was extremely happy until she found out her doctor had AOL.

A pervert in Florida pretended to be brain damaged so a woman would bottle feed him and change his diapers. You see why we shouldn’t have recess in the senate; look at what David Vitter does when he has free time in his hands!

Nearly three out of four British people admit they've turned down sex because they were too tired. The other guy really got tired after serving the wives of all the other lazy people.

A guy in China jumped off a ferry to get away from his wife's nagging. Unfortunately, he survived and had to go home.

Salma Hayek will play a bearded lady in her upcoming movie. So she only needs to trim her beer and she’ll be perfect!

Some rumors over the web say that Lady Gaga might have a penis. It could be true because today I caught Eddy Murphy whistling “Just Dance” and buying tickets for her next concert.

Viagra ice cream will soon go on sale in London. Actually, it doesn’t have any Viagra; men get arouse by seeing women licking the lollypops.

Viagra ice cream will soon go on sale in London. There’s no need of any stimulant if you are fat; you get aroused just by the idea of eating ice-cream.

Thousands of camels will be shot from helicopters and turned into burgers in a bid to halt their trail of havoc across Australia. It seems Sarah’s vacation just ended.