August 28th 2009

The Democratic Party is organizing tons of events to promotoe support for the government-run health care. It is a tough call for Republicans, because they want to disrupt those town hall meetings, but they don’t want to hire so many people that they’d help reduce the number of unemployment.

According to health officials in Boston, three in four people hospitalized for Swine flu last winter were either black or Hispanic. The other one, a white guy, is the only one with the hospital suite and the TV.

Three of Jessica Simpson's friends have told her that Tony Romo tried to get in their pants while he and Jessica were still together. Apparently, Jessica’s pants were too big for him.

Kelly Osbourne admitted to have been taking 50 pills a day at one point. Apparently, none of them were diet pills.

An old lady attacked a news crew with a hoe when they came to her house to investigate a story about two underage teenagers working at a strip club. Don’t worry; the daughter she used to hit the news crew with is fine.

A survey found that 30% of bosses say they scream at their employees in order to "motivate" them. The other 70%, just because they are asses.

Mexico temporarily shuts down a strip of Cancun beach because the Gran Caribe Real Hotel has stolen sand and accumulated it in front of the hotel. Apparently, they left thousands of people with hour glasses without the time.

According to news reports teens are using vodka-soaked tampons. They mixed them with red bull, because tampons don’t have wings.

According to news reports teens are using vodka-soaked tampons. Isn’t that a bloody Mary?

Joe jackson said Obama said no to Michael Jackson when Michael asked to attend Obama's inaguration. You see Republicans are right, Obama hates white people

Researchers have discovered that a chemical released by a mown lawn makes people feel happy and relaxed. Ahh that’s why my wife is so happy when I get home from work and Jose trimmed her lawn.