September 9th 2009

A White House panel of independent space experts says NASA's return-to-the-moon plan won’t happen because of the lack of money. We are so broke we can’t buy a cheap camera and fake a moon landing?

A White House panel of independent space experts says NASA's return-to-the-moon plan won’t happen because of the lack of money. So if we want to see a place full of craters and with no sign of life we should just go to Detroit.

The prices of graves near Michael Jackson’s tomb are already going up. Which proves that he was mostly white.

The prices of graves near Michael Jackson’s tomb are already going up. Because if you want eternal peace and tranquility, there’s no better place than next to Michael’s grave; kids don’t dare get close.

Laura Bush praised Obama’s speech to the kids. Because if some president had done the same when her husband was in school, he might have studied a little.

The opening bid to have dinner with Sarah Palin as part of a charity auction is $25,000. But so far they can’t find anybody that would take money to work as a food taster for her.

Biologists discovered 16 frogs which have never before been recorded by science… or as Pepsi calls them, new inventive flavors.

A man in Phoenix is avoiding paying photo radar tickets by wearing a monkey mask. This is not a novelty; Batman has been doing this for years.

A man in Phoenix is avoiding paying photo radar tickets by wearing a monkey mask. Bubble is pissed because now cops want him to pay the fines.

The new Leno show might have to compete with CSI. There’s not much difference; during the Leno show, investigators will look for traces of humor.

A burglar in Ohio was arrested when he returned to the house he just robbed to ask the owner out on a date. It makes sense; he finally got some money to ask her out.

Rambo will fight some kind of a monster in his next movie. Rumors have it, it is his enlarged prostate.

Fox didn’t carry Obama’s speech tonight and instead broadcast the show Glee, which is the average Fox viewer’s feeling when they don’t get to see Obama.

According to a new study from the University of Wellington in New Zealand, 4 out 5 men look at a woman’s breast first when talking to one. The other one pickpockets the other 4 guys while they are looking at a woman’s breasts.

According a professor from a Mexican University, money doesn’t buy happiness… But it buys lots of happy endings!