Ocotber 31st 2009

Today is Halloween; actually, for Republicans it was yesterday; what a scare they got when they saw the new health care reform bill!

Today is Halloween. If you don’t have money for a costume for your kids, just make them go trick or treating and sneezing on people as if they had swine flu.

Today is Halloween. I saw Obama’s daughters going around the White House asking for candies and dressed up as Fox news reporters.

Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and Cambridge police Sergeant James Crowley were spotted at a pub in Cambridge Wednesday night. And today, Fox News started reporting that president Obama turned them into alcoholics.

Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and Cambridge police Sergeant James Crowley were spotted at a pub in Cambridge Wednesday night. Apparently, they are planning to organize a beer Summit between Obama and Fox News.

A doctor in Chicago invented a brassiere that in an emergency can be turned into a pair of protective face masks. That’s great, now every time I spot a woman wearing one of those, I am going to pretend there’s a gas leak.

A doctor in Chicago invented a brassiere that in an emergency can be turned into a pair of protective face masks. Better be ready, because I’m going to start faking I got the swine flu all the time.

A doctor in Chicago invented a brassiere that in an emergency can be turned into a pair of protective face masks. Unfortunately, Nicole Richie’s bra looks more like a clown nose than a face mask.

A doctor in Chicago invented a brassiere that in an emergency can be turned into a pair of protective face masks. So, with Dolly Parton’s bra we can protect an entire football team.

Southwest Airlines announced one-way travel as low as $25 for travel up to 375 miles. But just like any cab driver, they‘ll do what pilots of the Northwest airlines did and keep you on the air for a while so you’ll have to pay more.

According to a recent survey conducted through the Intel Corporation, parents are more comfortable talking with their kids about drugs than about science and math. Apparently, the survey was conducted at a Phish concert.

According to a recent survey conducted through the Intel Corporation, parents are more comfortable talking with their kids about drugs than about science and math. You know how difficult it is to explain to kids the conversion from grams to ounces?

The House health care bill unveiled Thursday clocks in at 1,990 pages and about 400,000 words. It’d better offer a good plan for the optometrist.

There’s an online test that can determine if you're a racist by showing you photos of people of different races, and asks you to assign values, either positive or negative. Be careful… Lou Dobbs already punched and broke 5 computers while taking the test.

The chairman of the National Endowment for the Arts said President Obama "is the most powerful writer since Julius Caesar." Does it mean we are on our way to be like the Roman Empire and collapse?

The website X-17 Online says that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson broke up and Lindsay now has been seen with a man. Don’t get all happy that she is going straight, guys; the guy was Adam Lambert.