October 15th 2009

A company is selling a Michelle Obama action figure. They say they won’t be able to sell Barack's because there’s not much action.

A Colorado insurance company changed its mind and will offer coverage to an overweight 4-month-old. I don’t think the parents get it because they celebrated with a big cake for the kid.

President Obama promised to permanently do away with the military's "Don't ask, don't tell" policy. Hopefully, it will also cover hosts of American Idol.

Roman Polanski is working on his latest movie from jail. We all hope that instead of a nail biting, it is a pillow biting movie.

According to Forbes.com, Tyra Banks is the top-earning woman of primetime TV, which is quite weird because I thought all banks were bankrupt.

According to a CNN survey, anesthesiologist is one of the professions with the best media income in America. Now I know why Al Gore makes so much money.

According to a study, 23% of Facebook users have a yearly income of at least $100,000. If you are going to trust what they write in their profiles, I make millions then.

An American woman born with half a brain has wowed medical staffers by being able to speak and graduate from high school… and also by the way she manages herself as a Fox News reporter!

People in Japan are learning to speak English by listening to President Obama's speeches. Expect Japanese people to make tons of promises that are very hard to fulfill.

According to the US Treasury department, Al-Qaeda is in its worst financial state of many years. Apparently the invested their money with financeer Abdullah Maddoff!

According to the US Treasury department, Al-Qaeda is in its worst financial state of many years. Apparently, they can only afford 50 virgins now.

Aaron Carter denies that he is dating his "Dancing With the Stars" partner, Karina Smirnoff. The one that is having a daily affair with Smirnoff is Hasselhoff