October 9th 2009

Levi Johnston is going to pose for “Playgirl”. Apparently, he wants to exploit his 15 centimeters of fame.

The Spitzer Space Telescope has discovered the biggest but never-before-seen ring around the planet Saturn. If it is the Spitzer telescope it must be a prostitution ring.

The Spitzer Space Telescope has discovered the biggest but never-before-seen ring around the planet Saturn. It is a great accomplishment because the Spitzer usually only focuses on Uranus.

PETA protested with a bunch of people wearing chicken costumes outside the studios were Jay Leno was doing his show yesterday. Leno was mad, because he had the protesters with the chicken outfits, but the PETA protesters that usually get naked went to the Letterman show.

PETA protested outside the studios were Jay Leno was doing his show yesterday. It wasn’t against him but rather against NBC for brutally mistreating the peacock with some of the shows they put on the air this season.

Kim Kardashian is selling her West Hollywood condo for $1.1 million. Apparently, the condo has a huge backdoor entrance.

Justice Department officials said Wednesday that more than 60 percent of children surveyed were exposed to violence within the past year, especially those who joined their parents to some of the Town Hall meetings.

An Atlanta man was awarded $ 9 million in a lawsuit against a clinic that specializes in erectile dysfunction after he had a 2-day-erection that left him with a scarred penis... And probably, a scarred but happy wife!

An Atlanta man was awarded $ 9 million in a lawsuit against a clinic that specializes in erectile dysfunction after he had a 2-day-erection that left him with a scarred penis. He probably got an erection after he got the $9 million… I know I would…

An Atlanta man was awarded $ 9 million in a lawsuit against a clinic that specializes in erectile dysfunction after he had a 2-day-erection that left him with a scarred penis. On his defense, he probably spent a lot of money in condoms.

A Video of Hayden Panettiere's upcoming lesbian kiss with Madeline Zima on "Heroes" has hit the Internet. Awesome; I’m going to be a Hero among my friends when I send the link to all of them.

Kevin Federline's former landlords claim he owes them more than $100,000. On Kevin’s defense, his kids didn’t pay him his allowance when he looked after them last week.

Senior citizens and teens are the fastest-growing group of mobile Internet users. It’s true, I saw Letterman twittering a bunch of young female staff members.

The Weather Channel forecast Monday El Nino will result in a freezing winter this year:
It is already so cold that some Republicans are going to vote for the Health Care reform in Congress just to catch some heat from Rush and Fox News.

It is already so cold that Britney is wearing underwear.
It is so cold that Dick Cheney is faking heart attacks just to get some heat from the electric shocks during CPR.
It is so cold that Michael Moore and Kirstey Alley are not opening the refrigerator just to avoid the draft.
It is so cold that Mark Sandford and David Letterman are using the treadmill inside the house instead of going hiking.