November 3rd 2009

A 2 year-old kid was kicked off a Southwest Airlines flight before takeoff on Saturday because he was being too loud and cranky. Apparently, the airline was concerned the screams were gonna wake up the pilots.

Due to Fall Back, we turned the clock back one hour in the United States. So, technically, that means Conan O Brian took once again Leno’s spot.

On Sunday we gained one hour because of Fall Back. That’s relative, because I’m a Philly fan and I wasted the extra hour watching the 4th game of the series.

On Sunday we gained one hour because of Fall Back. Unfortunately, after Obama’s taxes, you’re lucky if you still have 10 minutes left.

Former US President Bill Clinton attended the unveiling of a statue of himself in Kosovo's capital Pristina. Now they just need to find a couple of chubby chicks to help get it erected…

During the unveiling of a statue of himself in Kosovo's capital Pristina, Bill Clinton thanked everybody and said that Hillary asked for a picture of him next to the statue. Of course, Hillary wants evidence that he was really in Kosovo and not at a strip joint somewhere in the world.

2,000 kids went trick or treating to the White House for Halloween. The kids were not happy; Obama forced them to leave 50% of the candies they had collected before they arrived.

“This Is It", the documentary about Michael Jackson, pulled in $101 million worldwide in its first five days. And today, Tito, Jermaine, and Joe Jackson announced a sequel called “This time I promise, this is really it!"”

The woman that wanted to trade sex for tickets to the World Series attended a game without having to have any sexual activity. Well, kind of, because she saw the entire game sitting on the flag pole at the stadium.

The woman that wanted to trade sex for tickets to the World Series is still catching some slack. Why? What do you think Kate Hudson has to do with A-Rod to get the tickets she gets for every game?

Joe Jackson said that Michael Jackson is “worth more dead than he was alive”. He would probably make the same amount of money dead or alive, but being dead prevents him from wasting any money on settlements.

A Zoo in the Gaza strip painted stripes on two donkeys to make them look like zebras because it is cheaper than getting real ones. They didn’t say anything, but apparently the giraffe is also two donkeys on top of each other.

A Zoo in the Gaza strip painted stripes on two donkeys to make them look like zebras because it is cheaper than getting real ones. Donkeys are good at transforming into other animals… Look at Lieberman; a donkey doing a great job acting like an elephant.

According to a new exhibition, an Indian doctor working in 600 B.C. might have been the world's first plastic surgeon. And his first patient? Joan Rivers.

An Indian man is suing the company Axe after he failed to land a single girlfriend during seven years of using their products. This is not the first time the company has been sued; there have been several fat women that bought the “chocolate” deodorant hoping their partners would turn into a Hershey bar.

The FAA has revoked the licenses of the pilots of the Northwest Airlines flight that overshot the Minneapolis Airport. They are not worried; they know they are going to make lots of money as cab drivers.

Boeing has chosen South Carolina as the location for its new factory to make the 787 jet. Mark Sandford already promised to test the first plane on a trip to Argentina.

Chaz Bono gave an interview to talk about her gender reassignment surgery. She turned 40 and just got a penis. It doesn’t make any sense to get a penis when you are 40, just when you are not going to use it that often anymore?

Jessica Simpson said in a magazine that she loves intellectual men. Don’t feel discouraged; for Jessica, an intellectual man is someone like President Bush.

President Obama's former campaign manager reveals in a new memoir that he believes Bill Clinton ruined Hillary's chances of becoming vice president, making it the first time in years that Bill screwed Hillary.