January 24th 2010

As part of his sex-rehab therapy, Tiger Woods is supposed to apologize to all the people he hurt. I know that there are rumors he was well endowed, but aren’t we exaggerating a little?

As part of his sex-rehab therapy, Tiger Woods is going to have a disclosure day where he will have to apologize to his wife and friends for his sexual indiscretions. Actually, considering the number, it might have to be a disclosure week, because one day won’t be enough if he has to name all of the mistresses.

The editor of the National Enquirer says he intends to submit his tabloid's coverage of former U.S. Sen. John Edwards' sex scandal for a Pulitzer Prize. Say whatever you want, but nobody ever thought Obama was going to win a Nobel Prize.

A man is suing British Airlines for branding all men as sexual predators because of a new policy the airline has implemented which does not allow minors to be seated next to unfamiliar adult males. Sorry, but if you are an adult and you are fighting to be seated next to a kid on a plane, you have to be a perv. Who would enjoy sitting on a flight next to an annoying, screaming kid?

A man is suing British Airlines for branding all men as sexual predators because of a new policy the airline instituted which does not allow minors to be seated next to unfamiliar adult males. He would have a case, if his name wasn’t Roman Polanski…

According to the New York Times, despite all the hacking threats, most people use very easy passwords to crack. I use one that never fails: Bin Laden, because nobody can find it.

A 300-pound woman in Cleveland got three years' probation because she sat on her 120-pound boyfriend and killed him. Prosecutors couldn’t get a longer sentence because they couldn’t remove the evidence out of her ass.

A 300-pound woman in Cleveland got three years' probation because she sat on her 120-pound boyfriend and killed him. Mmmm now I get it… my wife has been putting on a lot of weight lately.

There's a new app called "Nude It" which shows what people would look like naked. Or you can save the money and wait for the body scanners at the airport.

Cindy McCain and her daughter Meghan both support gay marriage now. John McCain is mad; he said marriage was intended to be between Adam and Eve, and he knows about that because he was invited to their wedding.

John Edwards visited Haiti to do relief work. And today Haitians contacted Satan to see if they could do a new pact to get rid of him.

A report says that wars are less deadly than they used to be. That’s why Dick Cheney wants to compensate by having more wars.

John Edwards admitted to being the father of his baby daughter. Apparently, he wants to pimp her in the future like Scott Brown is doing with his two daughters.

A picture of Madonna and her naked boyfriend appeared online yesterday. And today Republicans called Madonna and asked if her boyfriend would be interested in running for a senate seat.

A picture of Madonna and her naked boyfriend appeared online yesterday. So far, not so many people dared look at the photo; they are afraid it could be considered child pornography.