January 26th 2010

NBC is looking for programming to fill the 10 PM slot now that Leno has moved to 11:35. They have tons of offers; I heard there’s a guy pitching a great and spicy script of a married TV host that likes to bang his interns.

The media is reporting that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are legally separating. Lawyers believe they are gonna split everything 50/50… 50 kids each…

Things are getting worse for the poor little kids in Haiti; not only did they suffer an Earthquake, but now they have to suffer the humiliation of wearing the Vikings and Jets Super Bowl Jerseys.

NFL officials are really concerned now that Brett Favre is out of the Super Bowl. He was the only player old enough to know who The Who are.

The good thing for Brett Favre about being that old is that he probably already forgot what happened yesterday.

Mississippi police is going to beef up security at the clinic where Tiger Woods is rehabilitating. Apparently, they want to protect Tiger from the paparazzos, and the nurses from Tiger.

The All-American Basketball Alliance announced earlier this week its plan to launch a whites-only basketball league because they feel white are minorities in the NBA. Shouldn’t someone launch a Non-steroid baseball league then?

The All-American Basketball Alliance announced earlier this week its plan to launch a whites-only basketball team. Finally a chance for Rush Limbaugh to become the owner of a sports team!

Fox News was the only News network that didn't broadcast the Hope for Haiti benefit show. Fox didn't need to do it; they already did a lot for Haiti; if Pat Robertson was right, Fox News helped Haiti to get rid of the French.

Former senator John Edwards is said to have gone to Haiti to escape the media after he admitted to having fathered a child out of wedlock. You have to give Edwards some credit for the sacrifice; you know how bad the Haitian weather is for his hair at this time of the year?

Osama Bin Laden released a new audio tape where he claims responsibility for the terrorist attempt in Christmas. You can see he is desperate to be relevant again because at the end of the tape he performs his own version of “Pants on the ground.”

Osama Bin Laden released a new audio tape where he claims responsibility for the terrorist attempt in Christmas. You can see he is desperate to be relevant again because at the end of the tape he says he is with team Coco.

Andy Dick was arrested Saturday in West Virginia for grouping two men at a bar. The good news is that if his career as a comedian ends, he can always work as an airport screener.

Andy Dick was arrested Saturday in West Virginia for grouping two men at a bar. According to his lawyer, he was just being patriotic and checking it they had any bombs hidden in their underwear.

A new study suggests that running can improve your memory, hopefully in time to remember you are running because you were caught having sex with your friend’s wife.

A new study suggests that running can improve your memory. Apparently, the study doesn’t apply to Obama because he ran for president and forgot all the promises he made during the campaign.

A report by USA Today suggests that sex on TV has increased dramatically. It is true; in the last two weeks we saw how NBC screwed Leno and Conan on national TV and the FCC didn’t do anything about it.

Carrie Underwood and her hockey player fiancé have yet to set a wedding date. They are calculating food for almost 500 guests, actually 400 and Randy Jackson…

Chelsea Clinton raised over $60,000 for Haiti by hosting a 90-minute spin class. And you know that Bill raised something while looking at some of the hot women wearing spandex.