January 31st 2010

Hillary Clinton did not attend the State of the Union Address. Next time she’d better come up with a better excuse. Everybody at the White House laughed when she claimed she couldn’t go because she had a romantic dinner with Bill.

The Menifee School District in Southern California removed dictionaries from classrooms after a parent complained when a child found the term "oral sex." Sorry but this story sucks!

The Menifee School District in Southern California removed dictionaries from classrooms after a parent complained when a child found the term "oral sex." Fortunately for the teens, teachers are willing to teach that term without the use of any books.

Because of the economy, fewer women are going blonde. It is so hard to find blondes; even Fox is hiring brunettes like Sarah Palin.

Navy doctors on the USNS Comfort; a floating hospital docked off the coast of Haiti, put out a call requesting breast milk donations to help Haiti. And a moved John Edwards said today he is willing to help pumping and collecting all the samples.

James Cameron says that "Avatar" has a "political subtext." He is right, anything that looks good to the eye, like his 3D movie, no matter how lame the script is, will succeed, just like in politics.

Two Michigan men claim that "Pants on the Ground" was stolen from a song they wrote in 1996. Maybe if they didn’t have their pants on the ground they wouldn’t have gotten screwed.

A study said that the city that has the most depressing local news is Boston, especially this year if you are a hardcore Democrat who hates the Yankees.

A dentist left a piece of a drill in the head of a woman for 11 months. And even worse; she also got the stupid music they play at the reception stuck there as well.

The U.N. Population Fund says that condom use battles global warming. I told you Sarah Palin and her family don’t believe in Global Warming.

A man was arrested at a Wal-Mart in Canton, Ohio for urinating on steaks. Or as R-Kelly calls it: Steak Sauce.

Argentina’s president recommended pork as an alternative to Viagra Wednesday. It is true; we know how aroused politicians get when they pork in congress.

Paul Shirley, a former NBA PLAYER, said Haitians should "use a condom once in a while". How does he know about condoms? He is NBA player!

Steven Tyler sang two songs over the loudspeaker while shopping at a Home Depot in L.A. He also bumped into the other members of Aerosmith that were at Home Depot picking up new singers for the band.