January 7th 2010

Cher is selling her home in Hawaii for $12 million. Among the rooms, there’s a perfect man cave, with a huge home theater, pool table, sports paraphernalia, posters of hot chicks in bikini; what used to be Chaz’s room

Madonna's 13-year-old daughter Lourdes has started dating. So now finally both can go boyfriend hunting to high school parties.

A marine biologist announced the discovery of a new species of crab. You see, dating Paris Hilton has its advantages…

The TSA might install full-body scans at airports in the US. A piece of advice… If you want to move fast while in line, positioned yourself behind ugly people, because screeners won’t spend a second looking at them.

President Barack Obama told his security chiefs on Tuesday that the botched Christmas Day plane bombing was the result of a screw up by U.S. intelligence. Most people were shocked to hear that…. The US has intelligence?

During a meeting at the White House, President Barack Obama scolded high level officials on Tuesday over the botched Christmas Day terror attack. People at the meeting were all silent; not even the Salahi’s had anything to say.

Joan Rivers was bumped off a flight in Costa Rica when a Continental gate agent found her passport to be suspicious. Apparently, the picture in the passport looks 20 years older than her actual face.

Parts of the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport were shut down for about 90 minutes Tuesday due to a bomb scare. It was nothing; just a bag carrying NBC’s 2010 schedule.

A three-year-old boy lost his favorite Christmas present to airport screeners at the New Orleans airport when they confiscated his Play-Doh before he boarded the plane. I’d take my chances with explosive underwear rathers than dealing with an annoying crying kid throughout the entire flight.

Cops busted Gary Milby, a fugitive oil executive, after he appeared on the TV show "My Super Sweet 16". I’m glad the super 16 he’ll be forced to try in jail won’t be that sweet.

Two thieves were caught after trying to flee the police by running across a football field where a team of off-duty cops were playing. Tough luck, if they had tried crossing the field during a Saint Louis ram training session, they would still be fugitives.

According to a recent survey, half of all wives say they lie to their husbands about how much money they spend on themselves. Fair enough… half of all husbands lie about how much money they spend on their mistresses.

Al Bernardin, the inventor of the McDonald's Quarter Pounder has died at the age of 81. The key for such a long life? He never ate a quarter pounder.

A teen died after inhaling helium he'd bought at Wal-Mart in Riverside California. Apparently, he wanted to become balloon teen.

Temperatures are freezing cold in most parts of the country. It is so cold:

We are all starting to look bluer than the Avatar creatures.

Terrorists are boarding planes with bombs in their union suits.

People are going to the airports just to get patted by screeners.