February 8th 2007

I wanted to thank Mr Ken Rasak for publishing one of my jokes in Newsday, it really made my day. Thanks
http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-oppun5084609feb08,0,631167.story

Barack Obama
Sen. Barack Obama said he will try to quit smoking. Republicans immediately claimed that Obama is doing it because he doesn’t want to get tired when he cuts and runs.

Sen. Barack Obama said he will try to quit smoking. Republicans immediately accused him of being a quitter.

A Chicago Bears’ fan bet on the Bears in the Super Bowl and lost so now he has to change his name to Payton Manning. Barack Obama stated he is betting his middle name “Hussein” on the Oakland Raiders for the next season.

Ted Haggard
Pastor Ted Haggard said he's straight Monday after three weeks of therapy, thus he will continue eating Snickers candy bars

Iran
An Iranian commander stated their latest weapon could sink "big warships" in the Gulf, the Sea of Oman and the northern Indian Ocean. Apparently they developed lots of cruise ships’ food.

Hillary
Fashion designer Donatella Versace said Hillary Clinton should tap into her feminine and drop her pants. That’s exactly what Bill has been telling Hillary for a long time.
Ted Haggard was going to comment on Hillary’s fashion but he rememberd he is not gay anymore