March 13th 2007

Viacom
Media conglomerate Viacom Inc. sued Google Inc. and its Internet video-sharing site YouTube for more than $1 billion on Tuesday. Viacom believes that the 30 second unothorized clips display in YouTube hurt the company because 30 seconds is exactly what people need to realize their programs suck.

George H.W. Bush
Former President George H.W. Bush collapsed during a golf outing in Palm Springs and was given mouth-to-mouth resuscitation by a male friend of his. Marine Gen. Peter Pace immediately suggested that the former president return all the war medals he was awarded.

Cheney
Dick Cheney said Monday that members of Congress that pursue the slow bleeding anti-war strategy are not supporting the troops. The vice president said that the Bush administration has already worked on a plan to counteract the slow bleeding strategy: a giant tampon.

Invasion
Border Patrol agents stationed in Sonoita stepped on the Mexican side of the border when trying to extinguish a fire that started on the U.S. side and quickly spread into Mexico. The Mexican embassy complained immediately, not because of the short invasion, but because they think Lou Dobbs was trying to set Mexico on fire.

Britney
According to the “New York Daily News"a video and pictures of Britney Spears got magazines bidding up to $150 000. Everybody would think a price tag so high would involve a video of Britney doing drugs or having sex but instead it is just a rare video of Britney taking care of her kids.

Prolific
An Avondale, Ohio, man convicted of attempted theft told the court he is the expectant father of six children with six different women. He received an honorary NBA title.

Job Surge
The U.S. added 97,000 jobs in February. Unfortunately, most of them were reporters hired to cover the Anna Nicole Smith's case

Ethanol
The United States agreed to cooperate on spreading biofuel use with Brazil, a huge producer of ethanol from sugar cane. Experts believe ethanol from sugar cane will help lower the price of gas but in fat America it will increase the gas siphon theft though.