March 6th 2007

Scooter Libby
Former White House aide I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby has been found guilty on four of five counts in his perjury and obstruction of justice trial. He could be sentenced to 25 years in prison and by the time he leaves jail, Scooter won’t only be his knickname but also probably his way of transportation.

Former White House aide I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby was convicted Tuesday of obstruction, perjury and lying to the FBI in an investigation into the leak of a CIA operative's identity. Unfortunately the verdict was almost ignored by the mainstream media because the judge didn’t cry when he read it.

John Edwards
During an interview, presidential candidate John Edwards said that Jesus would be appalled with American selfishness. He had to repeat the statement several times because the reporter didn’t understand due to the echo produced by his 29,000 square foot house.

Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards says Jesus would be appalled at how the United States has ignored the plight of the suffering. Jesus would roll over in his grave, but according to the Discovery Channel he can’t because he was buried in a very small box.

Cheney Thrombosis
Vice President Dick Cheney has just been diagnosed with a blood clot in his leg, a disease that kills approximately 60,000 Americans every year, almost as many as Cheney.

Vice President Dick Cheney has just been diagnosed with a blood clot in his leg. Congressional Democrats suggested he should be taken to the Walter Reed hospital, but they are afraid he could be taken for cockroach.

Media Coverage
According to a recent study last Friday, Fox News featured only 10 references to the Walter Reed scandal compared to 121 of Anna Nicole. Fox promised to correct that as long as they changed their name to the Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears Medical Center.