March 28th 2007

Dog
A woman who choked on a piece fruit believes her dog Toby saved her life when he tried to perform the Heimlich maneuver on her. Unfortunately for her Toby was not that smart, he was just humping her chest.

British
Iranian state TV showed video Wednesday of the 15 British sailors and marines who were seized last week in Iraqi water. British people were shocked when they saw the video because Blair never told them they had sent so many people to Iraq.

Global Warming
According to scientist Global warming could leave a great part of the planet under water. Al Gore is working hard to get some tires around his waist to be able to float.

Britney
Britney Spears reportedly lost 10 pounds while in rehab. She is expected to gain all the weight back when her hair grows again.

Immigration
Almost 100 Haitian migrants arrived in South Florida after a dangerous journey on the water. They will be held by Immigration and Customs Enforcement and probably send back to Haiti because Haitians suck at baseball.

Pelosi
At a press conference today, Speaker Nancy Pelosi told president Bush to calm down with the threats because there’s a new congress in town. I just wonder if she would dare say the same to Dick Cheney.