July 11th 2007

It is so hot.......
It is so hot that everybody was trying to be close to President Bush to feel in the low 20s.

It is so hot I sweated more than politicians checking the DC madam website.

Chertoff
On Tuesday, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said terrorists prefer the summertime to strike. Apparently terrorists are convinced that in summer the 72 virgins are waiting for them wearing bikinis instead of burkas.

On Tuesday, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said that he had a "gut feeling" about a new period of increased risk. A gut feeling? Are we supposed to raise the color-coded terror alert system to brown then?

Edwards
John Edwards’ hairdresser is saying now that in another instance he charged him twelve hundred dollars for another haircut. And Still Edwards has more campaign money than a bald McCain.

Fred Thompson
According to a Los Angeles Times report, in 1991 Fred Thompson lobbied for the pro-abortion National Family Planning Association which will be very useful because if more reports like this one show up in the media he might need to abort his candidacy

Pill
Researchers have created a single pill that appears to hold promise in curbing the urges to both smoke and drink. Fortunately we can still snort cocaine.

Procrastinator
According to a new study, a full 20% of people identify themselves as chronic procrastinators. The other 80% promised to answer the survey later.

Antidepressant
Dr. Kelly Posner, a psychiatrist at Columbia University said that 25% of Americans have a major depressive episode sometime in their life, usually when they see the list of presidential candidates for 2008.

Iraq War
More and more Republican senators are questioning the war. When asked about their reason behind their sudden change, they all said that the war has just jumped the shark.