July 18th 2007

Chappelle
Comedian Dave Chappelle checked into the hospital over the weekend for exhaustion. Apparently he got tired of explaning to his wife and friends why he rejected a $50 million dollar contract.

Hillary
During an interview Senator Hillary Clinton said that few times would she say something that she would regret because she thinks twice before opening her mouth.... and Bill just nodded.

During an interview Senator Hillary Clinton said that few times would she say something that she would regret because she thinks twice before opening her mouth and also because with the size of her ankles, you know how difficult it would be to put her foot in her mouth?

David Vitter
Louisiana Senator David Vitter apologized to his constituency for using an escort service. He claimed that he did it for the people of New Orleans, and that he was wearing diapers to research on how to prevent leaks in the levees.

Imus
According to the New York Post Don Imus is searching comedy clubs for a black co-host to get ready for his return next year. Unfortunately the only black thing he gets out of comedy clubs are his eyes.

Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan is supposedly dating magician Criss Angel. Apparently she fell in love with him the minute he made her alcohol detector bracelet disappear.

Cigars
The federal government has a new proposal out that would raise the tax on cigars from five cents to as much as $10. In other news Bill Clinton tripled the price of his speaking engagements.

GOP
Nobel Peace Prize winner Betty Williams said last week she would like to kill President Bush. Apparently since she made those comments she has become the frontrunner in the GOP primaries.

Hillblazer
A gay bar in Manhattan created a drink in honor of Hillary Clinton which has several fruits and a lot of alcohol. Apparently only after 4 of those you are ready to vote for her.

A gay bar in Manhattan hosted a fund-raiser called "Hillary Happy Hour" where they debuted a drink created in her honor. You know what time is Bill’s happy hour? Whenever Hillary is not around.