July 25th 2007

Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan was arrested Tuesday on a cocktail of DUI charges and driving with a suspended license just on the eve of the release of her new movie “I know who killed me." So far the main suspect is "Happy hour."

Lindsay Lohan was arrested Tuesday on a cocktail of DUI charges, driving with a suspended license and cocaine possession just the day she was scheduled to show up in the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno. Fortunately she still managed to be on TV that night, not with Leno though, but rather in the TV show "Cops."

Lindsay Lohan was busted for drunk driving and drug possession on Tuesday on the same day she was going to be interviewed by Jay Leno. The actress claimed she drunk that night because she was afraid of the tough drilling questions Jay usually asks his guests.

After Lindsay Lohan’s latest arrest, police said they are coming up with a new nose ring that will detect any cocaine snorting. It looks like any normal nose ring, the only uncomfortable thing is the drug-sniffing dog attached to it.

Oprah
Oprah Winfrey, host and supervising producer of "The Oprah Winfrey Show," earns an estimated $260 million a year, according to a list in TV Guide magazine's July 23 issue. Oprah said to be happy about it, Obama even more.

MySpace
Popular Internet social network MySpace said on Tuesday it detected and deleted 29,000 convicted sex offenders on its service. And that was only friends from one Altar Boy’s MySpace account.

Laundry
A marketing firm is inviting Republicans to register in a contest in which a "lucky" Republican winner can have Michael Moore come to their home and personally wash their laundry. To avenge the years of Moore’s abuse the GOP only registered David Vitter so Moore has to clean his non-disposable diapers.

Power Outage in Frisco
Sporadic power failures hit the city of San Francisco yesterday. Apparently, every time the lights came back, the walls showed up clean at the height of the waist mostly from people walking with their asses against the wall when it was dark.

GOP
Manchester Republican Committee is planning to raise money for the Republican Party arming supporters with Uzis, M-16 rifles and other automatic weapons for a day of target practice at a Pelham firing range. They expect to raise millions, especially if they use a picture of Nancy Pelosi as a target.