May 22nd 2008

Who’s that?
McCain is so old that when he saw the preview of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull he said "who’s that boy, the one with the whip?”

George Michael performed at the season finale of American Idol. Things got a little awkward when he asked an assistant: “who’s that flamboyant gay dude?" referring to Ryan Seacrest.

Obama
Barack Obama spoke to the Crow Nation, a tribe of some 12,100 members in Montana, and was given the name "Black Eagle.” This is not the first time Native Americans gave names to politicians; apparently, Cheney is known as the "White Vulture."

Idol
Rocker David Cook won American Idol last night. Not all former winners had a career after Idol, so hopefully David Cook’s last name is not an indication of his future profession.

Chinese Magazine
The Chinese government fired all the editors of a magazine that showed models in bikini standing on top of earthquake rubble where people might have died. The magazine is planning another edition, this time bikini girls next to the firing squad that executed the editors of the magazine

Hillary
According to political analysts, Hillary Clinton is $30 million in campaign debt. I think this is Hillary’s sweetest revenge against Bill; she won’t stop running until she dries him out of all his money.

Hillary Clinton compared her effort to seat Florida and Michigan delegates to epic American struggles, including those to free the slaves. Apparently, she’s fighting so Florida delegates don’t get to be seated at the back of the convention.

Donkey
A donkey was locked up at a local jail in Chiapas, Mexico, for assault and battery. That’s bad news for all the American asses that go to Mexico for Spring Break.

Airlines
American Airlines will start charging $15 for the first checked bag. And a $100 if you want the bag to arrive at the same time you do.

American Airlines will start charging $15 for the first checked bag. It won’t take long for them to start charging you for the bag under your eyes, your nut sacks and your package.