May 26th 2008

Memorial Day
President Bush spoke to the media on Memorial Day and said that as a sacrifice for the fallen soldiers he’s willing to give up reading.

Indy 500
The price of gas didn’t make the Indy 500 as spectacular as other years. It wasn’t the same when the announcer told the drivers to start the engines and the roaring was replaced by the purring of their Hybrids.

The Indianapolis 500 took place this Sunday. There were not as many competitors as other years because to save gas most of the teams decided to carpool.

The price of gas didn’t make the Indy 500 as spectacular as other years. Teams decided to save gas and forced their drivers to drive only 60 MPH.

The Indianapolis 500 took place this Sunday. Organizers were forced to explain that the number 500 is because of the number of laps and not the price of the barrel of gas.

The Indy 500 took place this Sunday. Organizers went out of their way to clarify that Indy 500 has nothing to do with the movie Indiana Jones and Harrison Ford’s age.

Hillary
Hillary Clinton apologized for her recent comments about not quitting running yet because her opponent could be assassinated like Robert Kennedy. She said she meant no disrespect to Obama and to make things up she bought him a beautiful convertible to drive around when he becomes president.

Obama said he didn’t take Hillary’s recent comments personal because after all the one that is most likely to be blown is her husband Bill.

Hillary is under a lot of fire for invoking the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy to explain why she hasn't given up the race to become the Democrat candidate. To what Hillary said, you see, I told you I was under sniper fire.....

During a speech in South Dakota, Former President Bill Clinton delivered a harsh critique of how his wife has been treated during her presidential bid, telling the crowd that he has "never seen a candidate treated so disrespectfully . His comments are valid because if there’s someone that knows about mistreating Hillary, that’s Bill

NASA
A NASA spacecraft plunged into the atmosphere of Mars and successfully landed in the Red Planet's northern polar region on Sunday. The Bush administration was ecstatic as Mars is now probably the only red state left in the universe.

A NASA spacecraft plunged into the atmosphere of Mars and successfully landed in the Red Planet's northern polar region on Sunday. NASA said the success is due to the idea of attaching the spacecraft to a barrel of gas.

The three presidential candidates showed a lot of interest on the latest NASA quest to find life in Mars. Apparently that’s the place they are thinking of sending Rev Wright, Bill Clinton and Bush.

McCain
President Bush will headline an event to raise money for John McCain where people will pay up to $25,000 to meet the president. The McCain campaign was skeptical people would pay to meet the presidency, until they were told insulting Bush was allowed.

Food
According to reports, Denver food vendors won’t be allowed to serve fried food at the Democratic Convention. Apparently after Hillary’s recent comments, if Ted Kennedy gets a clogged artery she becomes the number one suspect.

Phone
Research says that pregnant women may harm their babies by talking on the cell phone. Especially if they use the cell phone at a movie theater in front of an angry crowd.