May 27th 2008

Hillary
Hillary Clinton danced for a few seconds to an Enrique Iglesias’ song while campaigning in Puerto Rico. She later said she was tempted to sing the song, but didn’t because you know what happens when the fat lady sings.

It was reported by the media last week that the Clinton’s campaign is $30 million in debt. Apparently, it has to do with airlines charging extra for all the baggage Hillary carries with her all the time.

Hospitals
According to a recent survey from the University of Miami, Florida, one in twenty patients have felt the urge to kill their doctor, especially when the patient discovered that her double D’s implants look like watermelons that had been smashed by Gallagher.

A male nurse in Miami was arrested by the police after he performed oral sex on a patient while the patient was waking up from the anesthesia. Apparently, the patient is extremely upset because he doesn’t know if his health insurance is going to cover him for that.

Cars
According to a new survey by General Motors, 9 out of 10 women would rather talk to a guy who drives a Toyota Prius than a guy with a Porsche. Unfortunately for the Prius owners, those women who like to talk to them will most likely end up in bed with the Porsche owner.

Oil
The chairman of Shell oil told the Senate that the high oil prices are simply a matter of supply and demand at work. The Oil companies supply the oil and then they demand it costs a fortune.

Back to life
A woman came back to life 17 hours after doctors thought she was dead. When she woke up, she asked if the gallon of gas was still $4 and begged the doctors to kill her again.

A woman came back to life 17 hours after doctors thought she was dead. Then she said she won’t die until the votes in Florida and Michigan are counted.