May 29th 2008

Hey everybody I'm back in Newsday! So let me thank Newsday and Mr Rasak for choosing one of my jokes. Awesome. Check it here:

http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-oppun295705570may29,0,4357537.story

McCain
The McCain’s campaign released Friday the candidate’s medical records. Reporters discovered that McCain’s idea of a 100-year war with Iraq is not a novelty; apparently he’s been at war with his cholesterol way longer than that.

According to the media John McCain can’t get any big Hollywood stars to support him. Maybe his campaign is not selling McCain well, because any celebrity in Hollywood would love to be photographed next to a person that always makes you look like a teen.

McClellan
In his new book, former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan slams the Bush administration claiming they were dishonest and misleading. No wonder the Bush administration hired Dana Perino to replace McClellan, they wanted someone that can barely write.

After the release of former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan‘s book which slams the Bush administration and the president, the media repeatedly showed an old video where Bush said he’s going to spend his final days in Texas in rocking chairs next to McClellan. We all know now McClellan’s chair in Texas won’t be necessarily a rocking chair but an electric one.

In his new book, former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan slams the Bush administration claiming they were dishonest and misleading. President Bush is expected to react as soon as the book editors release the tape version of the book.

Dunkin’ Donuts
Dunkin’ Donuts has abruptly canceled an ad in which Rachael Ray wears a scarf that looks like a keffiyeh, a traditional headdress worn by Arab men after right wing groups complained about it. The company claimed no symbolism was intended with the scarf, they just wanted to have something around Ray’s neck to strangle her in case she became too annoying.

Some right wing bloggers complained to Dunkin’ Donuts because in a recent ad Rachael Ray wears a scarf that looks like a keffiyeh, a traditional headdress worn by Arab men. Bloggers showed their wrath by threatening Dunkin’ Donuts with a boycott to their bad coffee.

Sex and the City
During the premier of the movie Sex and the City, an angry crowd surged against police barricades, cursing and stomping because they couldn’t get tickets to see the movie. The protests before the movie were followed by riots after the movie from those who got tickets and got to see the movie.

More than two thousand women were rejected from the premier of the movie Sex and the City because there were not enough seats at the movie theater. Unfortunately, those same women were also rejected later on by men in at bar who didn’t want to have sex with drunken skunks pretending to be 40-year-old adolescents.