May 30th 2008

Obama
Barack Obama has released his medical records and he’s in perfect condition. “He’s healthy, but so was Robert Kennedy,” said Hillary.

Right wing media started to play sermons of a white pastor making controversial remarks in favor of Obama. You know things are going bad for Hillary when even white pastors support Obama.

After the success of the latest Indiana Jones movie, producers are working on a new one. This time Indiana Jones will dig up old tapes of Obama’s pastors. It’s called “Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Angry Pastors.”

Wedding
A bride and groom were shot by a stranger during their wedding in Arkansas. The bride was extremely mad because the wedding was ruined, the groom was mad too because the hit man missed.

Craig
Senator Larry Craig is writing a tell-all book about his restroom scandal. Hopefully, is not a pop-up book.

Minds
Researchers have developed a computer that can read people’s minds. They thought the computer was broken when they used it for the first time, but then they realized they were trying it with Jessica Simpson.

Hillary
Hillary picked up another endorsement Friday, Ricky Martin’s, proving what the polls have been saying all along that she’s strong among middle-aged white women.

Amazon Indians from one of the world's last uncontacted tribes have been photographed from the air. Now Hillary is saying that she’s not going to stop running until we count their votes too.

NASA
According to NASA reports, the international space station's lone toilet is broken. And if they thought that cracks in Mars surface were huge, wait until they see the crack of the plumber they will send to fix the bathroom.

Water
Authorities in Florida said Thursday that Celine Dion tops the list of celebrities that waste water. Authorities said later that drowning her wouldn’t be considered wasted water though.

Authorities in Florida said Thursday that Celine Dion tops the list of celebrities that waste water. I agree; her singing is just a waste of so much saliva.