June 11th 2008

Salmonella
There's a salmonella outbreak linked to raw tomatoes in America; it’s already killed 20 bad comedians...

There's a salmonella outbreak linked to raw tomatoes in America. You say tomato, I say :BLUUUURRRRAARRRGGGHHH!

Chicken
Last Friday, police in Connecticut found a raw roasting chicken with a pipe bomb inside left on a roadside. Do you know why the chicken crossed the road? To kill Americans...

Last Friday, police in Connecticut found a raw roasting chicken with a bomb inside… Well it wasn't actually a bomb; the chicken was stuffed with tomatoes...

Last Friday police in Connecticut found a raw roasting chicken with a pipe bomb inside left on a roadside. Californians were not surprised; they already knew there was a "Pollo Loco" on the loose.

Last Friday police in Connecticut found a raw roasting chicken with a pipe bomb inside left on a roadside. According to the police, the chicken didn’t explode because it chickened out.

Obama
According to some media reports, Barack Obama is considering retired militaries among his possible running mates. Al Gore suggested Colonel Sanders.

Cigarettes
New York City bumped its cigarette tax up by $1.50 making the cost of a pack over $10. The tax helped the decline of the divorce rate; apparently, wives don’t believe their husbands anymore when they say they are going for a pack of cigarettes.

Drunk
A Sheboygan man was arrested twice for drunken driving within two hours early Tuesday. Apparently, the man claimed that when the cops told him he was going to be behind "bars" if ever drank again he couldn’t wait.