June 4th 2008

Bill
Hollywood actress Gina Gershon was infuriated by rumors that claimed she had an affair with Bill Clinton. She’s afraid she could be blacklisted from Hollywood, because having an affair with Bill immediately tells producers you that are getting fat.

Hillary
Hillary Clinton might quit running soon, although, judging by her looks lately, it seems she quit running long time ago.

After Obama sealed the Democratic presidential nomination Tuesday, lots of people begged the Democratic candidate to consider Hillary as VP, especially comedians that don’t want to run out of easy material.

Political analysts believe Hillary continues running so she can pay her debts. May be she’s running so her loaners won’t catch her.

Hillary Rodham Clinton told colleagues Tuesday she would consider joining Barack Obama as his running mate. She would be like Dick Cheney, but instead of having several by-passes, Hillary’s passed as “bi” several times.

Obama
Barack Obama quit Chicago's Trinity United Church of Christ, which is weird because according to the name the church belongs to him.

McCain
Senator John McCain gave a speech Tuesday to kick off the presidential race against Obama. Unfortunately, the speech was so energetic, so vigorous, that in the process McCain broke his hip.

Divorce
A happily married couple in northern India got the shock of their lives when they learnt that they had divorced 10 years ago, the Times of India reported on Tuesday. That’s how they realized why their sex had been great in the last 10 years.

Kevin Federline
Kevin Federline is being honored as father of the year by a nightclub in Vegas. He said he won’t have any problem attending the party because he can always leave the kids in the parking lot inside the car.

A night club in Vegas nominated Kevin Federline as Father of the Year. The owners changed their minds after Kevin told them he’d attend the party and leave the kids with Britney for the night.

Wall
According to a survey, the number of Americans that don’t want the construction of a wall between Mexico and the U.S is increasing. Apparently, they are afraid the wall will make it difficult for them to sneak into Mexico to fill the tanks of their cars.

Marijuana
Scientists say that heavy marijuana use can shrink the brain. Apparently, Jessica Simpson must have smoked more marijuana than Snoop Doggy Dog.

Scientists say that heavy marijuana use can shrink the brain, which is perfect because due to marijuana I already have bad memory.