December 10th 2008

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was arrested on corruption charges after he tried to sell Barack Obama's Senate seat. The case will vanish soon in the media, not because it is not serious, just because all reporters are having a tough time pronouncing his name.

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was arrested on corruption charges after he tried to sell Barack Obama's Senate seat. “There go my chances to reduce my debt,” said Hillary Clinton.

Idaho Sen. Larry Craig on Tuesday lost his appeal in a Minneapolis airport bathroom sex sting case. He lost his appeal a while ago, why do you think he has to pay now for sex?

...Larry Craig will never get out of the closet; he’s having an orgy with all the male skeletons there...

There's a website where you can sign a virtual thank-you note to President Bush. The first one thanks him for his help in winning the elections and it comes from Obama.

Oprah Winfrey says that she now weighs 200 pounds. Trying to help Obama recruit Bill?

Oprah Winfrey says that she now weighs 200 pounds. Apparently, her pocket is not the only fat thing she has now.

Ratings for Telemundo hit a 16-year high in November, but just because Republicans were watching something they wouldn’t understand to avoid shows about the elections.

Fran Drescher is campaigning for Hillary Clinton's open Senate seat. So far, the main candidates for that position are Bill Clinton and her: someone people would pay to hear speak, and someone people would pay to make her shut up.

On New Year's Eve, a leap second will be added to the clock just before 7:00 P.M. Eastern. You mean we have to put up with one more second of 2008?

On New Year's Eve, a leap second will be added to the clock just before 7:00 P.M. Eastern. Enough time for the unemployment rate to grow another point.

Same-sex marriage supporters encouraged gays and lesbians to take Wednesday off work. The main excuse bosses heard today: “Sorry boss, I have the fever; I’m hot for Brad Pitt...” “Sorry boss, I feel a little bit under... under my boyfriend...”

Same-sex marriage supporters encouraged gays and lesbians to take Wednesday off work. The sales of cold medicines sore Tuesday because straight dudes would do anything to avoid getting sick and missing work.

According to a recent survey from Brandeis University, nine in ten Americans pray to God. The other one already got fired,

One of Detroit's largest churches placed some sport-utility vehicles at the altar and prayed for the auto industry on Sunday. I guess that makes it up for all the times the pastor dammed his car when it broke down.

Bobby Brown said Whitney Houston was more "negro" than he was, especially her right eye after a heated conversation with him.