December 18th 2008

According to the U.S. Fire Administration, there are 11,600 fires every December 24th, 25th and 26th. Mostly from people setting on fire some of the ugly presents they get for Christmas.

A company created an Amber alert for pets. Apparently, they will warn you when Michael Vick gets out of jail.

According to a new survey, the older you are, the more TV you watch. Apparently, Alzheimer helps you forget how horrible some of the shows are.

A baby in Colorado was born with a foot growing out of his brain. Ain't that a kick in the head?

On Tuesday, researchers from the University of South Carolina released the "Death Map" which is a county-by-county look at which natural disasters kill the most Americans. Not surprisingly, the Bush administration took the number one spot.

Chrysler announced today that it will close all 30 of its auto manufacturing plants for at least a month starting at the end of shifts on Friday. Unfortunately, the workers will read about this on Sunday, the only day the Detroit papers are now delivering it . . .

A German politician suggested that the nation's poor should take jobs as rat catchers. And then he realized that if that happens, most of his politicians friends will be at risk.

Walmart will make a birthday cake for a Pennsylvania 3 year-old named Adolf Hitler Campbell. And not only that; they will make it with lots of extra white frosting.

Burger King is selling a body spray for men that smells like flame-broiled meat. And now you know Bill Clinton’s hidden secret to attract his prays.

Burger King is selling a body spray for men that smells like flame-broiled meat. It is the same smell they spray on whatever they use as meat in their burgers.

Burger King is selling a body spray for men that smells like flame-broiled meat. A great vegetarian repellent.

A new study found that heavy snorers burn more calories than people who don't snore. And today I’m going to force my wife to watch the movie "The Guru" over and over again.
"Time" magazine has named Barack Obama as their "Person of the Year". And WhitePride magazine the worst.

A Japanese newspaper reported on Tuesday that a 60-year-old man who was thrown into the air in celebration at his retirement party died after his colleagues failed to catch him and he fell to the floor. "Always the same party pooper," said all the people at the office.