January 14th 2009

Bush
According to the Washington Post, White House interns were forced to fill empty seats in Bush’s last press conference. It is not unusual for presidents to ask interns to help; even when all the seats were taken by the press, former president Clinton would ask some of the interns to sit on his lap.

According to the Washington Post, White House interns were forced to fill empty seats in Bush’s last press conference. Apparently, most of reporters refused to attend the event due to the new no-shoe-policy.

Some people believe that something smelled rotten at Bush’s last press conference. It wasn’t Bush’s words; just the fact that reporters were asked to remove their shoes before attending it.

California
For the fourth year in a row, more people moved out of California than in. The number is expected to reverse on Monday when the Mexicans that crossed the border illegally to visit their families in Mexico cross it again to go back to work.

Hooters
A group of Texas men are suing Hooters and alleging that they were "denied a waiter's position because of gender." And you thought that Hooters would be thrilled to hire big boobs…

Who wants to be a millionaire
ABC might bring back the show “Who wants to be a millionaire”. The economy is so bad though, that now if you want to phone a friend during the show you have to call collect.

Cell Phones
German researchers said on Tuesday that regular mobile phone use does not appear to affect your vision... unless you work for Naomi Campbel.

New Kids on the block
The boy band, New Kids on the Block, have started working in cruises. Apparently, Cruise companies have hired them to confuse the passengers because they won’t know if they puked because of the food or because of the band’s performance.

Virginity
A 22-year-old woman auctioning off her virginity at a legal brothel in Nevada said some people are offering more than $3.8 million. I’m willing to offer more if it includes rough sex, so after I’m done I beat her up until she gives me my money back.

A 22-year-old woman auctioning off her virginity at a legal brothel in Nevada said some people are offering more than $3.8 million. The only person I know that can make so much with no experience is Caroline Kennedy.

Eddy Curry
Eddy Curry of the New York Knicks is being sued for sexual harassment by his male driver. The NBA player claims it is all a misunderstanding, especially when he said to the driver: “Do you want some curry on those buns?”

Eddy Curry’s driver said he had to do humiliating tasks outside the scope of his employment, such as cleaning up and removing dirty towels with sperm. At least we know he won’t have a problem finding a new job, as he was immediately contacted by Bill Clinton.

Fat
A British man has been told that he cannot adopt a child because he is too obese and could die. Everything is ruined for him, because if he loses weight and gets the kid, what’s going to happen in the future every time the kid misbehaves? “You bastard, you know how much I had to starve to adopt you?”

In the news
Goodwill Industries said Monday it's doing a huge business selling formal wear for the Inaugural balls. If you’re lucky you could get one of the dresses Sarah Palin had to sell.

A robber in Paris tried to steal the tip jar at a sushi restaurant but a waiter killed him with a sushi knife…. And served him later in sushi rolls.

Researchers suggest that "finger length" may determine a person's financial success; especially if you are a gynecologist.