January 5th 2008

Hey everybody, welcome back... I hope you all had a great begining of the year. I managed to write some jokes, but it'll take a while to get back in the groove so be patient and bear with me.....hopefully this year is going to be quite funny.... Pedro

In the news
A baby was born on a Northwest Airlines Flight. Apparently, her mom boarded the plane when she was 5 months pregnant.

Despite the denial from Michael Jackson's camp, rumors are the King of Pop is suffering from a life-threatening lung ailment, apparently, due to second-hand baby powder.

Police in Finland believe they have caught a car thief thanks to a DNA sample taken from a sample of his blood found inside a mosquito that had bitten him. This is bad news for all politicians, because if we’re going to start using bloodsuckers as evidence, they will spend most of their time testifying.

Much of downtown Aspen was evacuated and New Year's Eve celebrations were canceled after suspicious packages were found at two banks. Apparently, the packages were considered suspicious because they contained traces of money.

Anniversary
Cubans celebrated 50 years of the communism victory over capitalism. Americans, only a couple of weeks.

Virginity
Researchers in Japan have just discovered that young people who dislike their mother tend to lose their virginity earlier in life. I guess Bristol is among the half of the country that hates her mom.

Palins
Former vide presidential candidate Sarah Palin told people magazine that her 18-year-old daughter Britstol, who has just given birth, is working her butt off to be a mom and going to school at the same time. Actually, if she had worked more the butt, she would have avoided the pregnancy.

Sarah Palin has been chosen as the most desirable neighbor by Americans. Apparently, they didn’t talk to the Russians, who know how annoying she and her family are.

Obama
During his vacation in Hawaii, president-elect Obama proved to be a really bad golf player, raising doubts again about his heritage. Where have you seen a black guy with no swing?

A picture of president Barack Obama wearing shorts and no shirt popped last week. And yes, it is confirmed; the future US president is leaning left.

Charles Barkley
Former Phoenix Suns player Charles Barkley was arrested in Scottsdale on suspicion of DUI . . . proving he is really serious about his future political endeavors.

Former Phoenix Suns player Charles Barkley was arrested in Scottsdale on suspicion of DUI. That wasn't the only bad news; he also lost $2,000,000 to the cop that arrested him after betting on the number of the alcohol level he was going to get on the breathalyzer.

Ford
Ford announced that in 2010 they will release a car that parallel parks itself. The drawback is that, like most Fords, the car spends most of its time parked due to engine problems.

Ford announced that in 2010 they will release a car that parallel parks itself. Unfortunately, it is useless in New York because there are no places to park it.

Politics
Gov. Rod Blagojevich appointed former Illinois Attorney General Roland Burris to the U.S. Senate, making Blagojevich the only person that was able to sell something this holiday.

Bill Clinton is being considered to replace his wife as a senator of New York, making it the first time Bill is interested in Hillary’s seat.

Hillary Clinton was named the most powerful woman in the world. Unfortunately, she lost to Obama as the most powerful man in the world.