January 22nd 2009

Hillary Clinton won her confirmation as US secretary of state from her fellow senators Wednesday and will have to serve at president Obama’s pleasure… “Yeah, good luck with that,” said Bill.

Hillary Clinton won her confirmation as US secretary of state Wednesday. The celebrations were held at a very important restaurant in New York, I mean, hers; Bill celebrated in Hooters.

Hillary Clinton won her confirmation as US secretary of state Wednesday with only two senators voting against her, including David Vitter. Apparently, Vitter wants Hillary home, next to Bill, so he doesn't need to compete with Bill for the best prostitutes in DC.

Vice President Dick Cheney pulled a muscle in his back Monday and is using a wheelchair. Shouldn't we be the ones with the back pain? After all, he screwed us for the last 8 years.

The stock market dropped on Tuesday as president Obama was being sworn in. We shouldn't be surprised, though, since one of his campaign promises was to bring people closer together, like the rich getting closer to the poor.

China censored parts of President Barack Obama's inauguration speech. Apparently, it was too communist even for them...

China censored parts of President Barack Obama's inauguration speech. They still didn't censor as much as Fox news.

Obama announced today he’s freezing salaries of some White House aides. The example seemed to catch on, as today lobbyists announced a bribe freeze to the members of congress.

President Barack Obama was re-administered the presidential oath by Chief Justice John Roberts Wednesday. Now Sarah Palin claims that he can’t be re-elected because the first day counts as the Obama’s first term.

After the flub heard around the world, President Barack Obama has taken the oath of office again. Apparently, he had to do it twice, once for his white half, and the other for his black half.

President Barack Obama was re-administered the presidential oath by Chief Justice John Roberts Wednesday. Apparently, the second one was over a Koran.

Knowing how much former President Bush loves fishing, the Brazilian President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva invited him to go fishing in Brazil. No news about an invitation for Cheney to go hunting.

Knowing how much former President Bush loves fishing, the Brazilian President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva invited him to go fishing in Brazil. Well, I hope it is not boat fishing, because Bush will manage to sink that boat too.

A 72-year-old man with eyebrows so long he brushed them each morning raised $1,600 for charity from people who paid to take turns trimming his out-of-control brows. If Andy Rooney copies the idea he could raise millions.

Activists in Africa started a hunger strike to bring political change to Zimbabwe. They were joined, like every other day, by the entire country