March 13th 2009

Friday leftovers! have a grea weekend. Pedro

Today is Friday the 13th… But what else can wrong in this country?

The Iraqi journalist who threw shoes at President Bush was sentenced to 3 years yesterday. Apparently, he would have walked free, but when he threw the shoes at Bush, he missed.

A high school history and economics teacher in eastern Idaho is selling ad space on his test papers to make up for a cut in his supply budget. The prices vary according to the student’s score; ads are cheaper if you get an F, because the student will never show it to anybody.

A high school history and economics teacher in eastern Idaho is selling advertising space to a Pocatello pizzeria on his students’ tests to make up for a cut in his supply budget. Do you think fat kids are going to be able to concentrate on the exam when they have the picture of a big pizza slice at the bottom of the page?

Michael Phelps gave the Today Show an interview. Unfortunately the interview didn’t start on time because Phelps spent most of his time in the green room.

Michael Phelps gave the Today Show an interview Friday. He was originally booked for the Fox show “Red Eye”, but his publicists didn’t think it was appropriate.

A woman in Pittsfield, Massachusetts tried to forcibly impregnate her lesbian lover with a turkey baster filled with her brother’s sperm. She failed, but the turkey next Thanksgiving will definitely be tender and juicy.

There’s a new website called BlueServo.net that allows users to "virtually patrol" the Texas-Mexico border via 15 live camera feeds. Or as Lou Dobbs calls it: porn!

There’s a new website called BlueServo.net that allows users to "virtually patrol" the Texas-Mexico border via 15 live camera feeds. I think I saw my cousin Jose crossing the desert and looking at the camera thinking it was a casting call for the next Carlos Mencias’ video.

Bernard Madoff is now in jail. And by the end of the first day he already owns most of the cigarettes of the entire inmate population.