September 21st 2009

According to an opinion poll, one in seven Germans want the Berlin Wall back. And Mexicans immediately offered to send the one that separate them from the US.

A man in Canada set a Guinness record after pulling a plane with a rope for 8.8 meters. Apparently, he was freaking tired of waiting with the plane in the tarmac and decided to take matters into his own hands.

Two boys have found nearly $100,000 in cash while fishing on the New South Wales north coast. They returned the $50,000 to the police who immediately started looking for the owner of the $25,000.

During the Frankfurt Auto Show, Volkswagen unveiled a new electric car called the "E-Up". GM is expected to come with its own electric car version called “F-Up.”

Saturday was National Talk Like a Pirate day. I wish I knew some Somalian.

Doctors said Dick Cheney’s elective back surgery went well. They expect Cheney will be back screwing people’s lives in no time.

A restaurant in Southgate, Michigan sold a 182lb burger. What a fraud! The burger doesn’t come with fries…

A restaurant in Southgate, Michigan sold a 182lb burger. Also known as “the Dr. Kevorkian.”

A restaurant in Southgate, Michigan sold a 182lb burger. After Michael Moore was done with it, he ordered the main course.

Occidental College in Los Angeles is offering a course in stupidity. Jessica Simpson wasn’t accepted as she had an unfair advantage over the other students.

Occidental College in Los Angeles is offering a course in stupidity. So if you pass the course, you’re ready to run for office.

“Mad Men” won the Emmy for best drama series. Congratulations to Glen Beck, Sean Hannity and Fox!

Hillary Rodham Clinton and the State Department are being sued by a diplomat who claims she wasn’t considered for a job because she was too old. Hillary apologized and said she won’t give Bill the task of hiring people anymore.

The New York anchor that dropped the F word on the air apologized Friday. Nevertheless, PETA is now going against the weatherman for abusing those chickens.

Congress stripped ACORN of all federal funding. It got some people angry, for instance Mickey Mouse said he will never vote again.

According to a new survey, the state where men have the longest average penis length is Washington, D.C. I guess we all knew they had the biggest dicks.

A lockout with the referee might force the NBA to use replacements for next season. Apparently, Stern is trying to convince the referees’ eye-seeing-dogs to officiate future games.

Fox News posted an ad in several papers saying they were the only ones that covered last week’s protest in Washington, D.C. It is not true; all the big networks covered the march… they covered the march with crappy shows in their network so nobody would see it.

A new book brought out by the Church invites couples to recite a making-love-prayer. Before making love, I usually pray my wife doesn’t catch me.

A new book brought out by the Church invites couples to recite a making-love-prayer. I always pray to my wife to see if we can finally do it tonight.