September 22nd 2009

According to scientists, a rub-on cream potentially as effective as Viagra but without any side effects has shown promise in tests on lab rats. Politicians are really happy because if it works on rats…

According to scientists, a rub-on cream potentially as effective as Viagra but without any side effects has shown promise in tests on lab rats. How do we know the cream really works rather than the rats got aroused just by the gentle hands of one the researchers?

A rub-on cream potentially as effective as Viagra but without any side effects is being developed by scientists. The only side effect is that by the time you are done applying it, you are done…

During an interview on CNN, president Obama mispronounced one of his daughter's names and instead of Malia he called her Maya. What a difference with the Clinton administration. If that had happened then, we all would have thought Bill was talking about an illegitimate daughter.

A professional eater won $1,500 after he ate 33 burritos in 10 minutes, winning the 2009 World Burrito eating championship. Unfortunately, he had to use all the money in plumbers to fix his bathroom after his first visit right after the competition.

Talking about whether the reaction to his health care plan is driven by racism, president Obama said that he was black before the election… but he kept it quiet so certain people would vote for him.

Talking about whether the reaction to his health care plan is driven by racism, president Obama said that he was black before the election… Obama said he was black before the election, and Biden said he was bald.

Three out of every four NFL players go broke within two years of retirement. Why do you think Bret Favre keeps coming back…

David Hasselhoff says he wasn't drunk and it was all a misunderstanding over an ear problem. Apparently, he couldn’t hear that he had drunk enough.

David Hasselhoff says he wasn't drunk; it was just an equilibrium problem. He just kept falling on top of bottles.

David Hasselhoff says he wasn't drunk; it was just an equilibrium problem. Apparently, it is very difficult to walk juggling 3 or four bottles at the same time.

A former Bush speech writer said that the former president once said that 'If bull**** was currency, Joe Biden would be a billionaire.' And Bush’s administration would have left a surplus instead of a deficit.

A man in Montana celebrated his 113th birthday. Among his whishes before blowing the candles, he wished he was able to blow them all.

Yesterday was Nicole Richie’s birthday. She turned 28… lbs after she ate some cake…

Kelly Clarkson says she's a big fan of her butt. Me too, said Bill Clinton…

An injured woman survived for five days in the wilderness of Colorado by sucking the moisture from her hair. Poor Kevin Eubanks; he would have died of thirst.

Two dozen women in Michigan are breastfeeding a widower's son. I think Hugh Hefner found an heir to his throne.

Tom Delay pulled out of bunch of sexy moves on his debut in Dancing with the stars. I wouldn’t if I were him, because some inmates were already fantasizing.

After three years, a separated couple finally reached an agreement on the custody of their dog. I don't want to say the dog was tired of this crap, but he suggested to be given to Michael Vick.

How you write can indicate whether you’re a liar, scientists in Haifa, Israel, have discovered. That’s why politicians always type.