February 18th 2010

According to a new survey, Americans are the most attractive looking people in the world. We’d better hide Snooki’s pictures.

According to a new survey, Americans are the most attractive looking people in the world. That’s why women have sex with in Mexico, not because I paid for everything with dollars.

A study says that babies who hear two languages regularly when they are in their mother's womb are more open to being bilingual. Damn! I live in LA so my baby only hears one… Spanish!

Dick Cheney made the TV rounds this weekend to talk about Iraq, torture and to plug a new season of 24.

In a new CNN poll, 52 percent of Americans said Obama doesn't deserve reelection in 2012. The other 48 percent want him gone now.

A six-month-old baby in England has shocked his parents and doctors by learning to walk unaided. Apparently, he was running away from his mom’s food.

A six-month-old baby in England has shocked his parents and doctors by learning to walk unaided. Big deal! In China, the same baby would have already won two gold medals.

The happiest state in America is Hawaii… Because they get lei all the time… I know, it’s lame…

An editor of the Daily Telegraph in England says that Protected by anonymity, internet users are becoming ever more vicious. “Who the heck is this stupid jerk?” Signed: “hotboy in Atlanta.”

A Canadian curler is five and a half months pregnant. Big deal! My wife is eight and a half months pregnant, and she’d better keep on sweeping the floors every day.

A new study has found that girls who play sports in high school are less likely to be chubby when they grow up. Unfortunately, in high school, my wife was part of the competitive eating team.

A guy in Wisconsin cooked his ex-girlfriend’s dog. Karma is a bitch and I’m so glad he’ll become one in jail.

Kevin Eubanks is leaving the Tonight Show. It is quite weird, usually black musicians stayed last in a sinking ship, I saw that in the Titanic.