February 7th 2010

President Obama spoke at yesterday's National Prayer breakfast. Sadly, Obama's prayers weren't answered because when he got into the car, he turned the radio on and Rush was still on.

A block of ice from an airplane fell into the home of a Las Vegas couple. Pilots were furious; the whiskey doesn’t taste as good when it is not on the rocks.

Former NFL coach, Jimmy Johnson, is doing a commercial for ExtenZe, a male enhancement pill. Oh, that’s why his nickname in college was “Little” Johnson.

Former NFL coach, Jimmy Johnson, is doing a commercial for ExtenZe, a male enhancement pill. You know; there was always a rumor in the league Jimmy didn’t like the deep penetrations during the game.

Anderson Cooper said that he is not adopting a Haitian kid. Apparently, he’s got enough changing Larry King’s diapers.

Vin Diesel and Paul Walker are getting ready to film a fifth installment in the "Fast and the Furious" franchise. Apparently, this time the “Fast and the Furious” movie is about Toyota owners.

In an interview with “Inside Edition”, Lindsay Lohan revealed that she is a hoarder. Lindsay said she has kept almost everything from the past 10 years, except her sobriety and driving skills.

President Obama invited top Republicans to join him at the White House for the Super Bowl. I think we know who are rooting against New Orleans.

According to "Men's Health" magazine, Boston is the least drunk city in America. Well, there hasn’t been much to celebrate last year with the Red Sox, the Celtics, and Scott Brown winning.

According to "Men's Health" magazine, Boston is the least drunk city in America. Well they lost their best player to heaven… Uncle Ted.

According to British intelligence, terrorists are trying to outfit female suicide bombers with explosive breast implants. I’ll take my chances and sit on the plane next to the big-breasted chick.

According to British intelligence, terrorists are trying to outfit female suicide bombers with explosive breast implants. Finally a topic I wouldn’t mind covered on the show “24.”

The Dow Jones hit a new low for the year; the stocks kept going down and down yesterday, like they couldn’t brake, like the gas pedal was stuck…

First the Corollas have problems with the gas pedal, now the Priuses have problems with their brakes. Poor Toyota CEO; he can’t catch a BREAK!

A New Yorker faces a $135 traffic fine for using a mannequin to get access to the carpool lane. What a dummy!

A man in Massachusetts was arrested trying to steal 75 bottles of body lotion stuffed in his pants. It took the cops 7 hours to catch him, because he kept slipping away.

A man in Massachusetts was arrested trying to steal 75 bottles of body lotion stuffed in his pants. I hope he kept one of those for when he has to give massages to bubba in jail.

Apple officials announced they had removed an app from its online store that allowed iPhone users to download speeches by Italian dictator Benito Mussolini. And today Mel Gibson switched to blackberry.

Facebook turned 6 yesterday. Weird… I threw a party at home and none of my facebooks friends showed up.