February 4th 2010

Alaska now has its own version of Groundhog Day. The governor signed a bill last year to make every Feb. 2 Marmot Day in Alaska. Unfortunately, when the marmot left the cave yesterday, it got shot by Sarah Palin.

The cast of "Jersey Shore" will return next season. According to some rumors, everybody in the show will make $10,000 an episode. You’d think they would be happy, but after all the money they spend on hair gel and spray tan it is a clean $5.

American Idol contestant General Larry Platt performed the song “Pants on the Ground” on a commercial flight from L.A. to Atlanta yesterday morning. Ironically, his pants were on the ground due to the cavity search he experienced before he boarded the plane.

Ashton Kutcher will appear on this week's "Saturday Night Live". His wife, in the History Channel.

Madonna and her boyfriend Jesus have called it quits. Reporters claim they saw the pop start already looking for a new date at Chucky Cheese.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has allegedly spent a hundred thousand dollars on alcohol while on board Air Force jets over the past two years. Her approval ratings are so low; you have to be drunk to dare hang around with her.

A banker in Australia was caught looking at pictures of topless women in his office not realizing a television news reporter was speaking live to camera just a few feet away. In his defense, it was a sperm bank.

According to a new study, employees spend almost half of the day worrying about their bosses. And of course, they spend the other half looking at porn on the web.

A new study from the Medical University of Graz in Austria has found that sunbathing can boost a man's sex drive, especially if you are lying out next to hot women wearing only a thong.

A new study from the Medical University of Graz in Austria has found that an hour of “Sun” can boost a man's sex drive, especially if you just look at those pictures of hot chicks the British tabloid prints.

A new study has found that sunbathing can boost a man's sex drive. Great; you are going to be able to hit on all the nurses that work at the hospital where you’ll get radiation for skin cancer.

A new study from the Medical University of Graz in Austria has found that sunbathing can boost a man's sex drive. It is true; you will always see a smiling woman next to George Hamilton.

A 13-year-old girl in England has a rare disease that makes her look like a 50-year-old woman. Doctors believe it is a natural self defense mechanism to avoid being chased by Roman Polanski.

James Cameron and his ex-wife Kathryn Bigelow are both nominated for directing Oscars. I don’t care about the Oscars, but I already hired a lip reader for when the cameras pan on the face of the loser that night.

Mo'Nique is considered an early favorite to win an Oscar for Best Actress for her role in “Precious,” though some experts believe she could lose by a hair... or tons…