February 3rd 2010

Punxsutawney Phil was pulled from its stump by members of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club Inner Circle. Not to see its shadow… It turns out that Phil was just another victim of foreclosure.

Punxsutawney Phil has seen its shadow, which means the winter will last for six more weeks. Unfortunately, Punxsutawney Phil won’t be able to see it, because a mob of hungry people affected by the bad economy ate it.

Punxsutawney Phil has seen its shadow, which means the winter will last for six more weeks. He didn’t stop there; taking advantage of the cameras, Phil went on a rant against those crazy liberals that believe in Global Warming and gave Al Gore the middle finger.

The rapper Game is denying he's the father of Tila Tequila's baby. I wonder if John Edwards can say the same.

The Obama administration may investigate the legality of college football Bowl Championship Series. Obama believes the BCS is illegal because it could sometimes award a trophy to a team that might not deserve it. You know, like with the Nobel Peace Prize…

Researchers have developed a silicone implant which can generate electricity when squeezed, mashed or wobbled, which means that with my hands and Pamela Anderson, we can save California's energy crisis.

NBC expects 200 million people will watch the Winter Olympics. Well, I wouldn’t be so sure; they also expected the same numbers for Leno and Conan.

South Carolina’s first lady Jenny Sanford wrote in her new book that she got short of breath when she found out about her husband, Mark Sanford, was having an affair with an Argentine woman. If it makes her feel happy, her husband also felt short of breath every time he was doing his mistress.

According to a new book, a cat in Rhode Island regularly predicted patients' deaths at a nursing home by snuggling alongside them in their final hours. Honestly, if I’m going to die, I don’t think it is that bad to go after I saw some pussy.

According to a new book, a cat in Rhode Island regularly predicted patients' deaths at a nursing home by snuggling alongside them in their final hours. And today Larry King got a new huge dog.

According to a new book, a cat in Rhode Island regularly predicted patients' deaths at a nursing home by snuggling alongside them in their final hours. The White House can’t wait to get their hands on this cat and make it “Death Panel Czar.”

According to a new book, a cat in Rhode Island regularly predicted patients' deaths at a nursing home by snuggling alongside them in their final hours. And today Rush Limbaugh bought a bunch of tuna fish cans, and left them opened by the White House’s gate.

CBS rejected another Super Bowl ad, this time for telling the viewers “Go to Hell.” Apparently, it was a travel agency promoting daily trips to New Jersey.

CBS rejected another Super Bowl ad, this time for telling the viewers “Go to Hell.” It is funny how different Networks are. Because “Go to hell” is exactly what NBC told Leno and his fans when they moved him back to 11:30.

According to a survey, one in four children have sent or been sent inappropriate material including pornography via email... the other 3 look at the real thing thanks to their teachers.

A Pennsylvania Goodwill store will launch a "Dump 'n' Drive" day, for Saint Valentine, so you can get rid of all your ex’s leftover belongings. So if you happen to go right after Elizabeth Edwards dumps John’s things, you will be able to find enough stuff to open like 3 hair salons.