February 5th 2010

Have a great weekend you all!

Toyota acknowledged that their Prius has software problems and doesn’t brake properly. Unlike the GM cars that break all the time.

Toyota acknowledged that their Prius has software problems and doesn’t brake properly. Well, let’s be fair; the dealers usually promise that these cars never break.

Toyota has recalled thousands of cars. Unlike GM executives, who don’t recall last time they sold one.

Now Toyota Prius owners are reporting cases of gas pedal problems. That’s impossible! The Prius have gas pedals?

New research suggests your chances of becoming a professional athlete are greater if you were born in one of the early months of the year. No wonder the New Jersey Nets have their schedule busy with all the birthday celebrations they have in November.

Pfizer, the maker of Viagra, posted a 34% jump in revenue yesterday. And today stockholders begged Miss America Pageant organizers to have Rush Limbaugh as a judge again.

Only 20 people showed up to see Pamela Anderson host a $25-a-ticket "club night fashion show" in Miami. Apparently, those are the only ones in the world that haven’t seen her naked in the movie with Tommy Lee.

Governor Mark Sanford's wife says he dropped the word "faithful" from their wedding vows when they got married. Don’t worry; he also dropped the word “Honest” when he swore to be the governor.

Admiral Mullen, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, told a group of senators that he is in favor of gays serving openly in the military. The meeting was televised by C-span and sponsored by mancrunch.com

Iran successfully launched a rocket carrying a mouse, turtle and worms into space for research purposes. Everybody in their space center was happy, except for the guy that reluctantly had to surrender his lunch.

A study says that excessive Internet use is linked to depression, mostly when guys check hot chicks online and then go to bed with their old wives.

President Obama told Democrats yesterday to stop looking at blogs and go out there to meet people, except for John Edwards. Democrats are safer if he just e-mails the constituents.

Miley Cyrus’ 9-year-old sister is launching a lingerie line for kids. Apparently, they are doing the fashion show in the set of “To catch a Predator”

The federal government now considers sex-change operations to be medically necessary so it is tax deductable. Perfect; with extra money, Chaz Bono is going to be able to afford the condoms and Viagra

According to British intelligence, terrorists are trying to outfit female suicide bombers with explosive breast implants. We’d better start checking everybody; I’ll start with Salma Hayek.

According to British intelligence, terrorists are trying to outfit female suicide bombers with explosive breast implants. “I swear Saint Peter; I don’t know what happened, I started fondling this girl at the airport and…”