February 22nd 2010

Ellen DeGeneres is demanding a $150,000 clothing allowance from "American Idol". That amount pales in comparison to the food allowance that Rhandi Jackson gets.

Bill Clinton blamed his heart problems on ice cream. His heart goes crazy every time he sees a young chubby chick licking them.

A man crashed his small plane into a federal building in Texas because he had a hang up with the IRS. Yeah you made your point, but now that you are gone, how do you think they are going to get money for the building repair? They are going to tax the heck out of people!

A man crashed his small plane into an IRS building in Texas because he wanted to make a point about the oppression of government and taxes. What a moron and you choose the day before Tiger Woods’ press conference?

Hollywood is already planning a movie about Joseph Stack, the guy that slammed his plane into a building because he hated taxes. They already have in mind two big actors for that role: Nicolas cage or Wesley Snipes.

A school district is being sued for spying on students using the webcams of school-provided laptops. The school is giving students a chance in life. If they don’t make it with education, they can always use the sex those tapes and get famous.

Chris Brown got good marks during a status hearing. Not as good as the mark Rhiana got on her face when he dated him.

Pete Townshend says his hearing problems have returned. Lucky him, at least he didn’t have to hear the crappy Who’s performance at the Super Bowl.

A 528-pound woman gave birth yesterday to a 6.4-pound baby. She gained the 6.4 pounds back at lunch.

Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty told voters to follow the lead of Tiger Woods’s wife and ‘take a 9 iron and smash the window out of big government. He said a 9 iron Joseph Stack, not a plane!

Actress and singer Hilary Duff, is engaged to a hockey player. Well at least she got teeth for the both of them.

The press was accommodated in a separate room during Tiger Woods’ press conference. It was doctors’ recommendation, they were not sure Tiger wouldn’t succumb to the temptation to one of the hot blondes Fox news reporters.

Tiger’s press conference taught my kids a valuable lesson. Success and money are very important, because only having both of them someone that boring can score with so many chicks!