February 25th 2010

Oprah's people are denying that they're producing a Paula Abdul talk show. Rumors started circulatiing when a truck full of pharmaceuticals parked outside Oprah’s studio.

Life expectancy in Canada is now 80.7 years. Or way down if you‘re a Canadian that saw your team lose to the US team at the Olympics.

A University of Illinois study found that pleasuring yourself is good for your health. So Tiger Woods just added 20 years to his life after the 2 weeks in rehab.

A University of Illinois study found that pleasuring yourself is good for your health. “Not always,” said Stevie Wonder…

Tiger Woods apologized to the other parents at their daughter's preschool. We all men deserve an apology from Tiger because now any stupid waitress in the country thinks they can do someone as big as Tiger living no chance for average Joes like me to see any action.

Dick Cheney suffered a fifth heart attack on Monday. I guess now that he is not the president he needs to attack something.

O'Hare and other important airports will be getting full body scanners as early as next week. My advice? Pick the line with the biggest number of ugly women and men, it will move faster.

Pole-dancing might be considered an Olympic sport in the future. Ahh… That is what Miley Cyrus is training for!

Pole-dancing might be considered an Olympic sport in the future. And today Chinese officials started forcing their babies to wear thongs and high heels.

Pole-dancing might be considered an Olympic sport in the future. Competitors will be judged according to the number of $1 bills they get in their thongs.

Pole-dancing might be considered an Olympic sport in the future. I’m so proud my daughter wants to be an Olympian to pay her education to be a doctor!

After complaining that 2,074 pages were too many, Majority Leader John Boehner now says that 12 pages presented by the Obama administration are too little. It is like a lottery; how long will it take for Obama to hit the right number of pages?

A woman claims she doesn’t need to lose weight now after her love handles stopped a stray bullet. Maybe if she was skinny, that bullet would have missed her completely.

A woman claims she doesn’t need to lose weight now after her love handles stopped a stray bullet. Let’s see if the love handles can stop a heart attack.

According to a research, women make three times as much coffee and tea for the office every week as men do. Well, men are too busy surfing for porn online.

A guy is suing the Kansas City Royals for $25,000 because their mascot hit him in the eye with a hot dog. It's similar to the lawsuit that dude who played keyboard at the AMA's filed against Adam Lambert.