March 13th 2010

Lindsay Lohan is suing E*Trade Financial Corp for $100 million, saying a "milkaholic" baby girl who appeared in a recent commercial was modeled after her. If that’s true, the baby deserves at least $200 million for being compared to Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay Lohan has sued E*Trade Financial Corp for $100 million. Apparently, she did it because her stocks in Hollywood are worth nothing now.

Lindsay is suing Harry Smith for having a colonoscopy live on the CBS Early Show, her legal argument is that when someone is a pain in the ass on t.v. naturally people are going to think of her

Rush Limbaugh said he’d leave the country if Democrats passed the Health Care Bill. He can use the bungalow Alec Baldwin rented when he promised to leave if Bush won.

Rush Limbaugh says he'll leave the U.S. if the health care bill passes. If you thought it was difficult to get the Democrats to pass the Health Care reform, can you imagine how difficult it’ll be to find a country that wants Rush?

Dozens of same-sex couples got married in Washington yesterday. It was really emotional, especially when Larry Craig caught the bouquet that Roy Ashburn and Eric Massa tossed.

Sean Penn says reporters should be jailed for referring to Hugo Chavez as a "dictator”. He is right; crazy would fit him better.

According to a new study, one in six Americans has herpes. I noticed lately that Paris Hilton has been taking it easy and spending more time with the family.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, roughly one in six American adults are infected with genital herpes. Numbers are expected to go up once Tiger starts hitting the golf tournaments again.

Three in five Americans say their lovemaking sessions last an average of 30 minutes. That if we include smoking a cigarette after doing it and then eating a pizza.

A Chinese woman has a two-and-a-half-inch horn growing out of her forehead. Maybe she should contact Dick Cheney; he didn’t have any trouble hiding the two he got.

Kansas authorities said an injured man pulled over during a traffic stop told officers he was beaten for using Monopoly money to purchase drugs. Police let him go because he had a “get out of jail” card.

A death row inmate's execution in Ohio was delayed to give him time to recover from a suicide attempt. Apparently, officials didn’t want to waste the last meal they had already ordered for him.

Tiger Woods and his wife Elin Nordegren were seen kissing lately. Now you can see what a month in rehab without any sex at all does to you.