March 14th 2010

Lindsay Lohan is suing E*Trade because the "milkaholic" baby girl who appeared in a recent commercial was modeled after her. There are some similarities; people have seen Lindsay late at a club, drooling and babbling like a little baby.

A 7-year-old child hid in the bathroom and saved his family from gunmen by dialing 911. “Yeah but can he direct plane traffic at JFK?” said a kid in New York.

A new study finds that minorities make up nearly half the children born in the U.S., but just because they don’t waste hours and hours of their lives watching the Oscars.

Osama Bin Laden turned 53 yesterday. Does anybody know his address; I would love to send him a Toyota as a present.

Osama Bin Laden turned 53 yesterday. It was a great party, before he had some cake; he asked for three wishes and then blew some infidels.

A US drug control official said that more people in America are driving cars under the influence of drugs. Of course; you have to be drugged to dare drive a car with all the recalls going around.

A US drug control official said that more people are driving under the influence of drugs. But lately, it seems most drugged people are those that make the cars.

According to a new study, men are less picky about sexual partners when they are feeling very stressed. Well… being president is very stressful, right Bill?

According to a new study, men are attracted to a broader range of women when they're stressed out. That proves that golf is very relaxing because Tiger only goes for the hot ones.

According to a recent survey minorities don’t sleep with pets as much as White people do. We cannot generalize; Tiger is black and he sleeps with pets… the pet of the month.

A woman in California robbed 11 people at gunpoint and got away with only $6. That’s what happens when you choose to rob the California treasure department.

A study found that women can expect to remain sexually active until the age of 65. The difficult part is to find someone that wants to do it with them.

A study found that women can expect to remain sexually active until the age of 65. No wonder Jesus hasn’t left the apartment in a while; Madonna knows she’s got only a couple of weeks left.

According to a new survey, men have 30 minutes more free time every day than women. The problem is we spend them begging our wives for sex.

Carlos Slim from Mexico has overtaken Bill Gates to become the world's richest person. Apparently, Slim charges 2 billion dollars every time he mows the lawn.

Madonna is launching a new clothing line for teens. She knows a lot about it, she is dating one.