March 16th 2010

A Mississippi school canceled its prom after a lesbian student petitioned to bring her girlfriend and to wear a tuxedo. So when most Americans set the clocks ahead on Sunday, Mississippi just turned them back a couple of centuries...

Americans lost 1 hour on Sunday due to daylight saving. Actually, and hour and a half if you watched “Keeping up with the Kardashians.”

The economy is so bad that for daylight saving the government could afford to save only 30 minutes instead of an hour.

A Utah House majority leader admitted he paid a woman $150,000 to keep silent about going nude "hot-tubbing" with him when she was a minor. Republican House members gave him thunderous applause for his honesty and because it wasn’t a 15 year old boy.

A Utah House majority leader admitted he paid a woman $150,000 to keep silent about going nude "hot-tubbing" with him when she was a minor. If he had used a couple of jokes when he shared the story, he would have probably gotten a gig as a tonight show host.

Due to daylight saving, we set the clocks ahead an hour on Sunday. It was all a White House plan to give Democrats one less hour to change their minds and vote for the Health Care reform bill.

A man flipped out and killed his girlfriend and two other men after walking in on them having a threesome at her Brooklyn apartment. The man was in shock; how the heck did she manage to fit 3 people in an apartment in Brooklyn?

Former Utah Jazz center Robert Whaley was caught with marijuana wedged into his butt cheeks. According to police, he also had some crack there.

Former Utah Jazz center Robert Whaley was caught with marijuana wedged into his butt cheeks. And when he farted everybody giggled, but not just because it was funny.

The Obamas hosted a screening of HBO's "The Pacific" at the White House last week. And now you know why they sent Biden to Israel.

A 6.6 earthquake rocked Japan over the weekend. A bunch of cars crashed, but that had nothing to do with the Earthquake; they were Toyotas.

Yesterday, 3/14, was Pi Day. But in the case of Kirstie Alley, everyday is pie day!

South Africa’s government says it will need one billion condoms for the 2010 World Cup. Who says there’s no scoring in soccer?

According to a recent study women who’ve taken the pill are less likely to die. Can anybody tell Jon Gosselin to stop smiling?

There are rumors that the TV show 24 might move from Fox to NBC. Come on! Only drunk might Kiefer Sutherland want to make this move… oh, never mind…

According to a group called the Insight Center for Community Economic Development, the average single black woman has just $100 of wealth. I don’t know what Oprah is waiting for to marry Stedman Graham then…

According to a group called the Insight Center for Community Economic Development, the average single black woman has just $100 of wealth. Actually, it would be $.0000001 if we exclude Oprah from the average.