April 1st 2010

President Barack Obama will throw out the ceremonial first pitch next Monday for the Washington Nationals. He fits perfectly in baseball, because like most of the MLB players, he wasn’t born in this country.

President Barack Obama will throw out the ceremonial first pitch next Monday for the Washington Nationals. He’s been practicing a lot; he throws the ball and Biden fetches it back…

Everybody is talking about Pat Venditte, a New York Yankees player that can pitch with both arms. What’s the big deal? The Washington Nationals have players that can pitch with neither and they are not bragging…

Rumors are Democrats would love to get their hands on pictures of any of the members of the Republican National Committee at the bondage club in West Hollywood. Not every Democrat; Bill is begging those pictures never show up, because he was there as well.

The Republican National Committee spent $2,000 at a bondage-themed nightclub featuring topless female dancers imitating lesbian sex. Don’t get too excited; the lesbians were Cheney’s daughter and her girlfriend.

A guest host for the Glenn Beck show said on his radio show that tanning tax makes the health care bill "racist" because "dark-skinned people" don't use tanning salons. To make it fair for white people, he is asking Democrats to raise the price of large condoms.

A new study by the German Institute of Human Nutrition has found that eating chocolate every day lowers your risk of heart attack and stroke by 40%. You’ll need a healthy heart, especially because it’ll be broken many times by guys that don’t like fat women.

A new study by the German Institute of Human Nutrition has found that eating chocolate every day lowers your risk of heart attack and stroke by 40%. And today Cheney’s friends removed bonbons from the list of possible presents for his next birthday.

Lindsay Lohan released a new single called Stuck. Apparently, she got inspired by her career.

Al Gore celebrated his birthday yesterday. Don’t let him fool you, the numerous candles were not because he cares about global warming and doesn't want to use electricity, he’s really turning 62.

According to a professor of Public Health at the University of Sydney, cigarettes may contain traces of pig's blood. No wonder after you quit smoking you eat a lot. You miss the bacon!

A man, who has become Britain's oldest dad at 74 after his wife gave birth to a son, says that his passion for bananas keeps him virile. Apparently, the secret is that his wife is an expert at peeling it.

According to a new study, drinking beer could help women fight obesity. Unfortunately, you usually end up losing the fight.

According to a new study, drinking beer could help women fight obesity. Actually, drinking beer gives some women the courage to fight the fat guy who is bothering them at the bar.

CNN listed the top ways to keep your child from being bullied. Unfortunately, the number one reason for your kid being bullied is watching CNN.

A newborn baby in Texas was denied insurance coverage due to a pre-existing condition. The pre-existing condition? He was Mexican.

53 cars were towed from a University of Central Florida parking lot while their owners were enjoying a Glenn Beck show. It was obviously something about Beck’s fans because they towed only the cars with the “I hate Obama” bumper stickers.