April 20th 2010

Researchers say that the volcano in Iceland could be erupting for more than a month. Experts believe that by that time reporters in America might be able to pronounce the name of the volcano correctly.

European airlines are asking governments to ease restriction on flying despite the danger of the volcanic cloud from Iceland. Only a drunk pilot would dare fly in such conditions! Oh, never mind…

A prominent Roman Catholic bishop in Mexico blamed eroticism on television for priests abusing children. The Vatican decided to take action and canceled their subscription to Disney Network.

Did you see the movie preview they started showing on Friday? The highly anticipated horror movie is back! “Nightmare on Wall Street!”

The Government is accusing Goldman Sachs of civil fraud. How ironic… Goldman Sachs asked for a bailout before; now they are just asking for bail.

An Australian publisher is reprinting 7,000 cookbooks after a recipe for pasta mistakenly advised to use "salt and freshly ground black people” instead of pepper. The correction now reads “Ground African-American people…”

An Australian publisher released cookbooks with a recipe for pasta with a misprint that advised to use "salt and freshly ground black people” instead of pepper. If you’re curious, you can still try the dish at the GOP convention.

According to a new survey, 80% of Americans don’t trust government. The other 20% didn’t answer because they didn’t even trust the survey guy…

Rush Limbaugh said on his show that the volcano eruption in Iceland happened because God was mad at Obama for passing the Health Care reform. Rush, what an ash!

According to a new study, going on a diet could increase your risk of developing potentially deadly conditions such as heart disease, diabetes and cancer. Well, at least you are going to be drop dead gorgeous.

According to a new study, going on a diet could increase your risk of developing potentially deadly conditions such as heart disease, diabetes and cancer. So Kirstey Alley will live forever…

Crystal Bowersox had to be talked out of quitting "American Idol". If they could do the same with every viewer that is quitting watching the show this season because it sucks…

Kim Kardashian said in an interview that she used to pray that her boobs wouldn't get any bigger. Luckily, God didn’t hear her when she prayed about her butt…

Studies show that the human brain isn't programmed to do three things at once. Unless, or course, you’re Tiger Woods or Jesse James…

On Saturday, the New York Mets beat the St. Louis Cardinals 2-1 on a game that lasted almost 7 hours! The game was so long that by the time it was over:
Larry King had divorced two new wives…

Joe Biden had delivered 3 speeches…

The Republicans had blocked 9 Obama bills….

5 new Jesse James’s mistresses had appeared…

Heidi Montag had had 20 more plastic surgeries…