April 8th

Sorry I forgot to post these ones a couple of days ago... I got more soon

President Obama threw out the first pitch for the nationals yesterday. Judging by the quality of the pitch, Michelle didn’t only hide eggs for the egg hunt, she might also hidden some baseballs, the ones Obama needed for practice.

British tabloids say that Tiger Woods will have up to 90 bodyguards when he plays in Augusta. It is not for him; actually, they are there to protect waitresses from Tiger.

Rumors are Tiger Woods is focused on the game, but still concerned he might fall off the wagon… and on top of a hot waitress.

If you heard a loud thud in California yesterday, don’t panic; it wasn’t an Earthquake; it was Charlie Sheen falling off the wagon.

Cox cable is broadcasting the Master in 3-D. It is a great chance to experience what Tiger’s mistresses have… Tiger’s balls coming at you.

A group that supports Marijuana in Nevada has offered Sarah Palin $25,000 to speak at one of their upcoming events. You have to be high if you think Palin will accept only $25,000 to attend an event.

Heidi Montag’s plastic surgery transformation was caught on tape and may air on a future reality show. The tentative name… “Young Frankenstein.”

According to a new survey, only one in five college students thinks oral sex counts as "sex". Who says Bill Clinton didn’t leave a legacy?

Producers are working on a porno version of "The Golden Girls”. Please tell me there wasn’t another guy on Facebook asking people to join a club so Betty White does the “opening” for this movie?

After yesterday's space shuttle launch, four women are now in space at the same time for the first time ever. If we were going to send 4 women, why didn’t we send the members of The View? They sometimes seem to live in space.

A new study has found that people with body piercings are more likely to drink and use drugs. Duh… how do you think they got their body piercings in the first place?

A new study has found that people with body piercings are more likely to smoke, drink, use drugs and have sex with Jesse James…

People that watched the press conference noticed that Tiger Woods has dropped some weight. Apparently, since the sex scandal broke out, his wife controls that he doesn’t visit any places with waitresses.

Inmates in Arizona are forced to pedal a stationary bike to generate the electricity to watch TV. Apparently, some of them collapsed during the Oscar ceremony trying to pedal until the end of the show.