May 14th 2010

Sammy Sosa has black skin again. Unfortunately, he was immediately arrested while driving in Arizona.

TMZ posted a video yesterday of Miley Cyrus dancing suggestively with an older man during the wrap party for "The Last Song" last year. Billy Ray Cyrus said that he is going to have a talk with Miley in a couple days; first he wants to be sure he gets his allowance.

Larry King and his wife are calling off their divorce. It makes sense; why would she take 50 percent of the money when she can take 100 % in a matter of weeks, right?

"Life & Style" magazine reports that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are living in a filthy house. Mostly because she can’t control her gigantic boobs and she keeps knocking things over.

Comedy Central cancelled "The Sarah Silverman Program". Her fault; instead of screwing Matt Damon, she should have had sex with the CEO of Comedy Central.

Experts say Hair is one of the best solutions to absorb the oil from the U.S. Gulf Coast Beaches. Just hair clips; someone tell the guys from Jersey Shore they don’t need to dive in.

Dennis Quaid gained 35 pounds to play Bill Clinton in an upcoming HBO film. And he didn’t have to gain as much as the actress playing Monica Lewinsky.

South Carolina governor Mark Sanford admits he spent the weekend in the Florida Keys with his Argentinean mistress. Apparently, he wanted to take her to Arizona, but he was afraid she could get arrested.

Republicans picked Tampa as the site of their convention in 2012, mostly because they have the best lesbian-themed strip joints in the country.

Two medical marijuana stores were firebombed in Montana. Neighbors were quite upset but immediately forgot about it.

Two medical marijuana stores were firebombed in Montana. “They should do it more often,” said the local owner of Taco Bell. “Our sales skyrocketed!”

According to a new study, hearing your mother's voice can help ease stress. Apparently, these researchers haven’t met my mother yet; I don’t think I can reduce any stress when I hear my mom screaming that I haven’t accomplished anything in life!

According to a new survey, one in five parents regret the name they gave their kids, especially those who got beat up by their kids when they were old enough to realize how awful their names were.

A new study from the University of Wisconsin has found that kids are almost as comforted by a mother's phone call as they are from a mother's hug... So if you have AT&T, it’s like having a mom with no arms; she keeps dropping you…

According to a new study in Germany, men who marry much younger women live longer lives. Don’t be so happy. Living a long life penniless after they divorce you is not fun at all.

According to a new study in Germany, men who marry much younger women live longer lives. So, as long as Larry keeps marrying young women, he’ll never die.

According to a new study in Germany, women who marry much younger men live shorter lives. Yeah, but nobody can erase the smiles on their faces after they die!